Kester steps out onto the cobbled patio, the sound of laughter and music from his living room fading as he pushes the door almost closed.

‘Everything ok?’ he asks, sliding his arms around Helen from behind and kissing the side of her neck.

Helen rests her cheek against his ‘I’m fine’ she says with a small smile ‘came out for some fresh air, that’s all’

‘Fresh isn’t what I’d call it. You’ll catch cold’ he says, pulling her closer to him.

‘I’m ok. Warm in there though, I shouldn’t’ve worn a sweater, silly of me’

‘You look gorgeous’ Kester turns her to face him. ‘Like an edible polar bear’

‘Is that supposed to be a compliment?’ she laughs up at him.

‘It would be if I were another polar bear’ He growls, nuzzling her neck.

Helen giggles ‘How much have you had?’

‘You countin’?’ he growls again, working his way across her throat and up to her ear.

‘N-no’

Kester lifts his head and kisses her perfunctorily on the mouth. ‘Not that much, ok? I was mucking about. Lighten up’.

‘I wasn’t ….complaining’ Helen smiles hesitantly ‘I was…teasing. Isn’t that what you’d’ve asked if I’d done that?’

‘If you did that…I wouldn’t be asking anything, I’d be enjoying it’ His eyebrows rise and he grins. Sensing her discomfort, he lets his arms drop and takes her hand. ‘Come on, let’s get inside before this goes too far’ he smiles softly.

‘Kester….’

‘You want to borrow a shirt or something?….If you’re warm in that….’

‘Mmm, good idea’ Helen replies as they walk back into the living room, eyeing Leonie and glad for another excuse to escape.

‘Thought you two had got lost’ Leonie looks up from where she sits, glass in hand, on the floor. ‘I was going to send out a search party’ She glowers at Helen. ‘Any chance of a refill?’ She holds up the glass to Kester.

‘Bottle’s next to you’ Kester says curtly.

‘Oh, that one’s empty’ She waves the glass from side to side.

‘Here!’ Beth gives Helen a sympathetic glance and lifts a bottle from the lamp table next to her and swings it across the gap between her and Leonie. ‘Not that you need any more, how much have you had?’

Kester grins at Helen, squeezing her hand.

‘What’s so funny?’ Leonie demands.

‘Nothing’ he says, still grinning and without losing eye contact lifts Helen’s hand to his mouth.

‘Seems to affect people in different ways doesn’t it?’ Helen comments dryly, her eyes sparkling with amusement as they share a hug.

‘Will you two leave it out?’ Nathan grumbles from the depths of an armchair. ‘I’m getting a hard on here just watching you’

Helen colours and bites her lip, unable to prevent a snort of laughter as Kester glares at him.

‘You need a hand?’ Kester asks, looking back at her.

‘What?’ Nathan rocks with laughter.

‘Nathan, behave!’ Beth scolds ‘That’s awful’ She scowls at Andy laughing next to her. ‘And you!’ she says, slapping his leg.

‘I was talking to Helen’ Kester says awkwardly ‘She’s going to borrow a shirt…. It’s hot in here’

‘I’ve heard some excuses in my time’ Nathan snorts ‘Go on then…we’ll give you an hour to sort one out…no more’ He crushes the empty can in his hand and throws it at the waste bin ‘Shot!’ he crows as it lands on target.

‘I’ll be down in a minute’ Helen puts a hand on Kester’s chest as they reach the hall.

‘I’m sorry’ he says, putting his arms around her and sighing.

‘What for?’ she asks, genuinely surprised.

‘Back there..’

‘Nathan you mean? Don’t be silly… I’m not offended, why should I be?’

‘Oh, I don’t know… bit coarse maybe?’

‘So that wasn’t something you might’ve said…if I hadn’t been here?’

‘If you weren’t here, he wouldn’t have cause to..’

‘You know what I mean, if the roles were reversed…’

‘Possibly..’

‘Then why apologise? Honestly, I don’t know what you think I am but I’m no prude, Kester. I might not be entirely comfortable around your friends just yet but that’s nothing to do with the language, it’s just me. He makes me laugh. Stop worrying about me and be yourself for once. Relax’

‘You want some help then?’ He nods upstairs.

‘No….that’s fine. I know where everything is’

‘I thought…you know…you might like it if we had five minutes to ourselves’

‘With Nathan timing us?’ She laughs uncertainly. ‘No, you go back in there. I won’t be long’ Helen kisses him on the cheek and pushes him towards the door.

‘Oh dear’ Leonie mutters to no one in particular when Kester comes into the room. ‘He must’ve lost his touch….or met his match’ she sniggers cruelly.

‘Time we got you home, I think’ Andy sighs. ‘You fit?’ he asks Beth, playfully gripping the back of her neck.

Beth gives an annoyed grimace. ‘Why split the party up just because she’s being a cow?’

‘Whoa! That’s enough’ Kester butts in.

‘See? Kes doesn’t think I’m a cow!’ Leonie pouts.

‘I do, actually. I think that’s exactly what you are being. This was supposed to be a nice night. A few drinks and a laugh, a welcome home for Nathan’

‘Yes…with his FRIENDS’ she emphasises pointedly.

‘And Helen is MY friend’

Nathan clears his throat. ‘Er….um…right..come on…we can share a taxi’

‘No, you stay there’ Andy waves Nathan down and glowers at Leonie as he stands up. ‘You, get your coat. I’m taking you home’ He ruffles Beth’s hair ‘No snogging with him while I’m gone, ok?’

‘Bugger’ Nathan clicks his fingers. ‘Thought I was in there’

‘I need the bathroom’ Leonie says stubbornly, swaying as she gets to her feet.

Kester returns her venomous look with a stony-faced ‘Expect you do’

‘Sorry’ Andy apologises as she leaves the room. ‘I’ll drop her off and come back, if that’s ok with you’

‘Course’ Kester blows his cheeks ‘This isn’t exactly how I planned it’

‘I’m sorry too…about….you know’ Nathan says sheepishly.

‘Nooo!’ Kester laughs ‘Helen thought it was funny. I got a bollocking for getting so uptight about it’

‘That’s alright then’ He sucks the froth from a newly opened can.

‘She’s nice’ Beth smiles.

‘Very’ Andy agrees.

‘Serious?’ Beth asks with a knowing look.

Kester grins almost shyly ‘Maybe’

Andy gives a deep sigh ‘And that….I think.. is the problem with madam. I’ll talk to her, Kes. Put her straight. It’s not as though… It isn’t is it?’ he says after a moment’s thought, looking at Kester uneasily.

‘Noooo’ Kester holds up his hands. ‘Not unless you count the mistletoe about ten years ago’

‘Ok just checking. Then she’s just being a bitch. I’m not having that’

‘Don’t make a big deal out of it, ok? She’s had one too many, that’s all. She…’

At the sound of raised voices and the slamming of a door upstairs he stops.

‘Oh, for Christ’s sake!’ Andy makes it to the door a split second before Kester. ‘What the hell have you gone and done now?’ he demands as Leonie walks nonchalantly down the stairs, laughing to herself.

She sneers at Kester ‘God! You can shag that?’

Andy grabs her arm and drags her down the last few steps. ‘Get outside’

Beth and Nathan hover in the doorway to the living room.

‘You want I should go up?’ Beth offers as Andy opens the front door and roughly pushes Leonie outside.

‘No…it’s ok…I’ll go. I’ll…call you if I need you…ok?’ Kester takes the stairs two at a time.

Beth nods solemnly and turns her head to Andy as he kisses her goodbye with a peck on the cheek ‘Won’t be long’ he says. She nods again and looks up the stairs.

‘Come on’ Nathan puts an arm around Beth’s shoulder. ‘Leave them to it. He knows what he’s doing’

Kester knocks on his bedroom door and opens it slowly. ‘Okay if I come in?’

Helen sits on his bed, a shirt replacing the sweater but as yet unbuttoned. She holds it closed with both hands, screwing the fabric between them.

‘What happened?’ he asks, crouching in front of her.

Helen gives a low agonized groan and turns her head away, tears running off her chin and making dark spots on the blue cotton of the shirt.

‘Helen?’ He tries to turn her head towards him.

She flinches, twisting away from his hand, her whole body rigid. ‘Leave me alone’

‘Tell me’ he says, resting his hands on the bed either side of her thighs and rubbing his thumbs against the fabric of her trousers. ‘Has Leonie said something to you? She’s been a right cow tonight…everyone thinks so; it’s not just you. She’s gone now. Andy’s taken her home. How did she upset you?’

‘Go away!’

‘You want Beth to come up…. you want to tell her?’

‘I don’t want to see anyone!’ Helen snaps. ‘Just get out’

‘Helen, please. Don’t be angry with me. I want to know what she’s done to upset you. Let me call Beth, she might understand better than me’ Kester says helplessly.

‘Understand?’ She stares at him, her teeth bared in derision. ‘Oh, there’s nothing to understand’ she mocks, her voice tight with bitter resentment.

‘Tell me…please. If she’s said something or done something…I’ll sort it out with her…I’ll make it right’

Helen gives a bark of scornful laughter. ‘Of course you will’

‘I can’t do anything if you won’t tell me’

‘You want to know? You really want to know?’ she asks, her deep hurt manifesting itself as anger. ‘Okay… you can have a bloody good laugh too. I heard what she said and she’s right!’

She barges him out of the way as she stands up. ‘She’s right. How could anyone shag this? You couldn’t could you? Nobody could!’ She pulls open the shirt ‘Go on…you tell me. Who could shag this eh?’

Kester stares shocked at the criss-crossing of scars beneath the band of her bra.

‘And there’s more! You want to see those too? Does it make you sick? Does it? You want to throw up? You glad you asked now? This is rape, Kester, rape of the worst sort. He’ll never get out of prison…but nor will I! Go on…put that right!’ She stands glaring at him, trembling with emotion.

‘Helen…I…’

‘You think me not wanting to make love is all to do with being forced to do it? How could I…even if I wanted to? …And I did. I did, Kester. For the first time since it happened, I wanted to. I wanted you!'

She closes her eyes, dropping her chin to her chest as she hugs herself, wrapping the shirt around her as tears roll down her cheeks, her anger spent, leaving just hurt and humiliation behind.

Kester edges forward on his knees and puts his arms around her waist, laying his head against her. He tightens his hold as she tries to back away. ‘It’s ok’ he soothes ‘It’s ok’

He holds her firmly, stroking her back with one hand and easing away slowly as the resistance to his embrace lessens. He looks up as he gently takes her arms and moves them to her side.

‘Please don’t…’ Helen sobs.

‘It’s ok…sshush’ he croons, holding her gaze as he parts the two sides of the shirt. He slowly lowers his head and softly kisses each of the scars in turn. ‘This is still you’ he whispers, looking up again. ‘It is still you. I love all of you’

‘You can’t…’

‘I do’ Kester stands and holds her close. ‘I wish you’d told me’ he says quietly.

‘I couldn’t’

‘So…we would never have…’

‘I don’t know’ she whispers.

‘But if we…’

‘If we what?’ Helen lifts her face, frowning slightly as his words trail away.

Kester shakes his head.

‘Please. We agreed to say what was on our minds, the truth’

‘You didn’t’ He smiles to soften the accusation. ‘This was what was bothering you, wasn’t it?’

‘Yes…’ she falters ‘But I didn’t…it wasn’t that I lied…but I couldn’t tell you everything….not the whole truth. You know now…I’ve got no more secrets. Tell me…please’

‘Later…I promise. This isn’t the time or the place’

‘Will it ever be?’

‘Oh, yes’ Kester replies with a gentle smile.

‘Then tell me now’

He takes a deep breath through his nose and starts to button the shirt, his head slightly lowered, concentrating on slowly pushing each button through its corresponding buttonhole.

‘Kester?’

He shakes his head again. ‘Not now…but soon, I promise. So, Harriet knew?’ he asks quietly, stroking the back of one finger against a scar before closing a button over it.

‘No…how would she?’ She looks puzzled.

‘I thought...perhaps…the painting?’

A flicker of something like amusement crosses Helen’s face. ‘I didn’t pose naked’

‘You didn’t?’

‘Aside from the obvious reason for me having to say no if she’d asked…it wasn’t necessary’

‘It wasn’t? She had me buck naked!’ Kester huffs with feined indignation, gladly changing the subject. ’Apart from a sheet that she kept pulling down ‘til half me bum was hanging out’ he snorts.

‘I know’ She bites her lip.

‘You’ve seen it? ‘

‘No…not yet, I think she’s saving the official unveiling. She told me about you being so grumpy about it'

Kester groans.

‘I used to pose’ Helen says thoughtfully, her face sad again ‘I used to be quite proud of my body’

‘You’ve got a beautiful body. You can still be proud’ His hands slide under the back of the shirt and he strokes the tips of his fingers down her spine, the gentle touch of his thumbs raising goose bumps on her skin. Expecting her to move away, he smiles as she hesitantly leans into him. ‘Feels good to me’ he murmurs as he pulls her closer.

For a few minutes they stand with their arms around each other, gently and subconsciously rocking to the muted sound of music from downstairs. Kester breaks the silence. ‘Will you stay tonight?’ he asks carefully.

‘I thought I was staying over? …I’ve been drinking’ She looks up at him with a confused frown.

‘I meant here…in here with me’

Helen flushes. ‘I…I..’

Kester looks up as the doorbell sounds. ‘That’ll be Andy back. You want to stay up here? We don’t have to go down if you don’t want to’

‘Give me a minute to repair the damage’ she says, stepping back and wiping her fingers under her eyes. ‘And I’ll be fine’

‘Hurry up then’ He propels her to the bathroom. ‘Don’t be all night. Couple more drinks and we can send them all home’

She turns. ‘Meaning?’

‘Meaning that I’d like to continue this discussion uninterrupted’ He winks as her eyes lift to his face. ‘Just hurry up’ he smiles, cupping her chin and bending to kiss her.

‘Two minutes!’ Helen looks up at him, her eyes shining with fresh but happy tears.

Tawny House, Manor Road

The Annexe

Chapter Eight