‘Uh?’ Nathan’s eyes shoot open and for a few moments he feels disoriented. Then, realising he has heard Stephanie calling him, he throws back the duvet and jumps out of bed to run downstairs. In a panic, he bursts through the door of her room. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing!’ she startles and looks at the intercom between the two rooms and back at him. ‘I was just....’
‘There’s nothing wrong?’
‘No, I was just....’
‘Jesus! You nearly gave me a bloody heart attack!’ Sweat prickles his forehead as though to prove his point.
‘I’m sorry but I was only....’ She starts to giggle. ‘You’ve really got to start wearing something in bed. What if my Mum was here?’
‘But she isn’t, is she,’ he mutters grumpily. Recognising how stupid he must look, his eyes search vainly for something to put on. ‘So there isn’t any emergency, you didn’t shout for help?’
‘No...’ she glances at the intercom again. ‘I was saying goodnight,’ she says, somewhat wistfully. ‘I didn’t press the alarm button, I’m sure I didn’t.’
‘You want anything now I’m up?’
Stephanie shakes her head. ‘No, I’m fine, thanks.’ She glances at the intercom again and frowns. ‘You wouldn’t have heard me shouting anyway, the alarm’s just a buzzer.’
Nathan scratches his head with both hands, raking his hair until it stands up on end. ‘Aaw, shit.’
‘Were you asleep?’ She bites her lip in regret. ‘Sorry. I thought you were in the bathroom or something when you didn’t answer. You must’ve gone straight off.’
‘I did. I can’t even remember lying down.’ He yawns and sits on the side of her bed, automatically straightening the duvet and tucking her in. ‘I’ll go back, then. See you in the morning. ‘He leans in to kiss her. ‘Night.’
‘I didn’t mean to wake you up.’ Stephanie touches his face with the tips of her fingers. ‘We always say goodnight though, don’t we. Sorry.’
‘No worries.’ Nathan brushes her hair back from her forehead and kisses her again. Seeing a dampness rimming her eyes, his hand lingers against her cheek and his thumb catches a tear. ‘You okay?’ he asks softly.
‘Uh huh,’ she says, turning her head onto his hand and holding it there. ‘I feel a bit lonely, that’s all.’
‘But you’ve always got people dropping round.’
‘No, I mean now...at night. It’s like we’re two separate people.’
‘We are two separate people.’ He grins down at her, his eyes still glazed with exhaustion.
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I don’t. Tell me. I’m too bloody tired to get hints, Steph. Tell me straight, otherwise I’m up a bloody gum tree without a paddle.’
She repeats his words and laughs.
‘You know what I mean.’ He sighs, annoyed at muddling the two sayings. ‘So what is it? I’ve really got to get back to bed, I’m hanging.’
‘It’s like you’re you and I’m me and we’re not a couple anymore. You have to do so much and help me with so many things...’
‘But that’ll change as soon as you get used to everything and it’ll get better when you do. Things are bound to be different for a while.’
‘But I miss you!’ she blurts out. ‘We haven’t had a good pash for months and you go upstairs to bed and leave me here! I want to feel you. Touch you and snuggle up all warm.’ She lowers her eyes and her voice and smiles shyly as she looks down. ‘I want you to touch me as well.’
‘Jeeze, would this've been intercom sex if I hadn’t come down? I’d better go back and enjoy it.’
‘Don’t laugh!’ she says with a sob and turns her head away. ‘I want it to be like it was. I want to know you still love me.’
‘Of course I still love you, you silly cow. I tell you all the time, don’t I?’
‘That’s not the same as saying it when we’re in bed.’
Nathan laughs quietly. ‘Bloody hell, women moan that’s the only place men do tell them and I get it in the neck for saying it when we’re not.’
‘You don’t get it, do you?’
‘No, I don’t,’ he says, stifling another yawn and trying to focus his unsteady gaze on her face. ‘I really am knackered, Steph. Can we talk about this in the morning? Maybe I’d stand half a chance if I wasn’t so tired.’
‘Okay,’ Stephanie pushes both hands down on the mattress and heaves herself up the bed so she is sitting facing him. ‘It’s like this,’ she says, staring at him and determined to make him understand. ‘I want you in this bed and I want you to want me like you used to before all this happened. I want you to tell me you love me because you feel horny, I want to know that I can still MAKE you feel horny...’
Nathan shivers and covers his crotch with both hands squeezing his legs together over his fingers. ‘You think you don’t?’ he laughs incredulously. ‘You think I can get you in and out of that bloody shower without feeling horny? Jesus H Christ, Steph, I mooch about in here in case you get in bother putting your clothes on and I have a hard time pretending I don’t want to rip ‘em all off again!’
‘Really?’ she looks surprised and not displeased.
‘Of course you make me feel horny, you daft bint! I’ve got permanent goose pimples with all the cold showers I’m having...But I‘ve really got to go back to bed now, okay?’ His eyes almost cross with the effort of keeping them open.
‘You could sleep here,’ Stephanie suggests with a provocative smile.
‘I know I could, sweet, but I’m not sure we should even be thinking about what you’re thinking about, not for a while, it might bugger things up. We need to check that out with the hospital, don’t we?’
‘I suppose so,’ she sighs. ‘I know it’s a lot to ask after what you’ve just said, but can you be in here and just cuddle me to sleep? Please? ’
‘Babe,’ he smiles, glad in that moment to have the chance to lie down anywhere. ‘I don’t think I could do anything else if I tried.’ He gets up and pulls back one corner of the duvet while she wriggles down the bed.
She murmurs happily as he lies down and puts his arm around her, easing her onto her side and cuddling her into his chest. ‘Thank you,’ she says and closes her eyes, giggling when his only reply is a soft but distinct snore.