‘Hello’ a voice says quietly ‘I wondered if you’d come. I’m glad you did’

Ernie Knowles turns slowly, rubbing a handkerchief from side to side under his nose before putting it back in the pocket of his overcoat. His eyes tear again as they embrace. ‘Michael’ he acknowledges, patting the man’s back and clinging to him tightly.

‘How have you been?’

‘Not bad, boy, getting there. You?’

‘Much the same’

‘Sorry I ain’t been around much’ Ernie drops his arms but stands looking at the man with a uncertain half smile.

‘That’s ok.

‘How did you know I’d be here today then?’ Ernie’s reverie breaks and he turns back to the grave. ‘I were going t’surprise yer...after’

‘RHA dinner, right?’ Michael replies, putting a consoling hand on his shoulder. ‘I’ve walked past a couple of times to see if your car was at the house then I saw it here’ he says softly.

Ernie nods slowly. ‘The dinner, yes a course, but I int sure as I wants t’go now. I was coming t’see yer …… once I’d paid me respects’ He retrieves his handkerchief and blows his nose.

‘Are you staying?’

‘See how it goes’

‘Wish you would. I suppose it’s difficult…what with Evelyn’

‘Aye’ Ernie stoops to straighten the red ribbon on the small wreath of fir and hellebores before standing and turning to him.  ‘Michael…?’

‘Mmm?’

‘I needs t’talk to yer’

‘Yeah, sure, I got time’ Michael says as they both step onto the gravel path.

‘Proper like…a proper talk…back at the house….’

‘Ok’.

‘I got summat I wants…summat I got t’say’ Ernie says, his eyes clouding again.

Michael looks over his shoulder, realising that Ernie has stopped walking ‘Are you alright?’ He looks at him anxiously ‘Dad?’

St. Stephens Churchyard, Leytonmore

Chapter Four

8 Crispin Walk, Leytonmore

‘You’ve got another WIFE?’ Michael shouts ‘Evelyn is your WIFE?’

‘She is’ Ernie shakes with emotion as tears course freely down his cheeks.

‘And my mother KNEW?’

‘She did’

‘I can’t believe it!’ Michael distractedly pushes his hair back from his forehead ‘I can’t believe you would do that to her….to me! WHY? Why have you never told me…. why did mum never tell me?’

‘There was times when that’s what I wanted to do…but your mum..’ Ernie starts to explain.

‘Don’t you blame her!’ Michael glares down at him ‘Don’t you tell me it was her fault, she’s not here to say different is she? She wouldn’t have…she couldn’t have…you’re lying!’

Ernie looks up, his eyes pleading ‘She thought you would think badly of her. We never married. She took me name but we never married’

‘But that…that makes me….’

‘Never anything but a child what was loved and wanted’

‘WHY? I don’t understand…I don’t understand any of this. You and Mum were always…’

‘I loved er that much it hurt and that’s the truth’ Ernie dabs at his eyes ‘and I reckon she loved me a bit too’

‘But she was so …. How can someone be that happy when they’re being made such a bloody fool of?’

‘I never made a fool of yer Mum' Ernie tries to keep his voice from trembling 'She knew what was what right from the start. It were one a them things. We was meant t’be together and that was that’

‘Yes. Together! But you weren’t together were you?’ Michael jabs his finger belligerently ‘You played my mother for a fool’

‘No…she knew’ Ernie says quietly, meeting Michael’s eyes ‘She knew all there was t’know about everything. I never kept anything from her. Never once. We was really happy, Michael, you got to believe that…and when you come along….’

‘ME? I hope you’re not going to give me some crap about it being the best day of your life!' Michael scoffs 'If it had been that bloody wonderful you would’ve left ‘Poor Auntie Evelyn’ and been here ALL the time!’ He paces to the window, running both hands through his hair and letting his hands drop as he turns ‘God! This explains such a lot!’ he spits angrily’ ‘I must be so sodding gullible. All those lies you fed me…All these years! Jesus Christ! I don’t believe I’m hearing any of this’

‘I wants to try and put things right’ Ernie stretches out a hand.

‘RIGHT? You can never put this right!’ Michael looks down at Ernie’s hand in disgust. ‘You have destroyed my whole life! Everything I have ever known, everything I thought was true…it’s gone!’

‘I’ve left her, Michael’

‘Well, it’s a bit fucking late now, isn’t it!' He flares in reply 'What good’s that to me now? What good’s that to my mother?’

‘None at all….' Ernie starts to cry again 'I knows that. I knows that only too well and it’s something I shall regret to the end of my days. This is where I'd rather be. It always was. You know that don’t you?’ His voice shakes.

‘Oh, come off it! You can’t tell me you couldn’t have left her before. I don’t want to hear any more of your lies. That’s it, Dad, that’s it, over. I don’t want you here. I don’t want anything more to do with you.’

‘This is my home’

‘It was my mother’s home! You’re nobody…. You hear me? A NOBODY!’

‘Fair enough’ Ernie says with quiet acceptance, his head bowed. ‘I loved your mother, Michael, I loved her more than anything and I love you. In truth…probably more than I love my other two’

‘You’ve got other children?’ Michael says in stunned disbelief ‘Jesus! No more.  I don’t want to hear any more…You’re not welcome here…not welcome in my life. You have destroyed me’ he says coldly ‘I will never forgive you. Never’

The door slams.