‘Is he here?’ Evelyn Knowles stands in front of the door from the kitchens.
‘Who, dear?’ Vivienne asks, turning sideways to edge past her, a white towel flung over her shoulder and two vegetable dishes held in cloth padded hands.
Evelyn blocks her way. ‘My husband! Who do you think I’m talking about?’
‘I have no idea’ Viv blows a strand of hair from a hot forehead and pushes past ‘Scuse me, love, less you want a couple of pounds of Brussels down your front, as you can see, we’re a bit busy in here’ She places the dishes along the centre of one of the long tables and turns to find Evelyn blocking her way again.
‘He was coming here for his lunch, he said so’
‘Can you see him?’ Vivienne skirts round her.
‘No I can’t!’
‘Then he’s not here, is he? The table at the far end..’ she instructs one of the waitresses who is balancing a vast platter of carved turkey and trimmings along one arm ‘veg are on their way’ She hurries towards the kitchens.
‘Is he at your house?’
‘Come again?’ Viv pauses with her hand on the swing door long enough to give Evelyn a withering look.
‘At your house, is my husband at your house?’
‘Why on God’s earth would he be at my place?’ Shaking her head, she disappears into the kitchens, reappearing moments later laden with more dishes.
‘You’re this Vivienne he talks about aren’t you? He’s always talking about you’
‘I’m Viv, yes….but I’ve got no idea who your husband is. Would you please mind out of the way? The girls are trying to get through here. There are hot dishes and you are beginning to get on my nerves’
‘Ernest…Ernest Knowles. Well?….Is he?’
‘Is he what?’ Holding the dishes aloft, Viv squeezes between Evelyn and a chair. The man she presses up against turns and grins. ‘Cor, you nearly enjoyed that didn’t you Harry?’ she teases ‘and you with your missus here and all!’
‘You can have him!’ Harry’s wife laughs ‘Gimme another chipolata and he’s all yours!’
Vivienne bends to whisper a loud aside ‘From what I hear, that’s all he’s got anyway!’ she sniggers.
‘Ere!’ Harry protests, laughing.
His wife snorts into her glass of wine as Viv moves on.
‘Is my husband at your house?’ Evelyn repeats, doggedly following.
‘No he is not!’ Viv sites the trays of roast potatoes and turns with her hands on her hips. ’The only male I’ve got at my house is the cat…and he ain’t all man neither’
‘Are you saying that my Ernest isn’t all man? How would you know that if you weren’t …..close!’ Evelyn’s voice rises.
Those sitting nearby fall silent, their curiosity spreading until most of the diners are listening.
‘Look….Mrs. Knowles, I know who you’re talking about now. Me and your husband has a bit of a laugh when he comes in….nice man that he is…but that’s as far as it goes, ok? Crikey! If I nipped out for a bit of how’s your father with every bloke that buys me a drink in here, I’d need stretchering out after every shift!’
Laughter ripples around the room.
‘He buys you drinks?’
‘Sometimes…mostly we just has a few words in passing…depending on how busy we are…And right now, I’m very busy, up to me eyeballs. You want to lose me my job?’
‘I want to know what you’ve done with him!’
‘Go on, Viv, you tell her!’ someone jeers, causing more laughter.
‘Oh, for goodness sake, for the last time, I have not seen your husband and if I had, it wouldn't be while he was bending me over a barrel out back and having his wicked way with me! He’s a very nice man, Mrs. Knowles, a very nice man indeed but, bless his heart, I doubt if he could keep up with me if you’re what he’s been used to!’
‘Wooo hooo! See you later then, Viv!’ someone raps the table amid raucous laughter.
‘You’re on, sweetheart…as long as you promise to rub me feet!’ Viv calls back ‘Now, excuse me, dear’ Viv stalks past, flicking a second cloth over her shoulder. ‘I got work to do’
Evelyn huffs and to the sound of laughter stomps out of the pub.