‘Well!’ Evelyn Knowles huffs as she threads her way between the tables and joins her friends sitting by the window of the Old Mill Café. ‘I have just seen George Harris standing at his front gate…’ She pauses for effect, closing her eyes and laying a hand on her chest as if the shock has been a great one. ‘In his…underwear!’

‘His underwear?’ Kathleen Wishart’s eyes widen. ‘Are you sure?’

‘As sure as I’m sitting here!’ Evelyn confirms, signalling to the counter and asking for coffee.

‘Good Lord! To think it’s come to that. Poor man. He was never very…. intellectual’ Kathleen stumbles over the word ‘but to think he might be losing what marbles he has got…that’s terrible.’ She shakes her head, her voice full of concern. ‘Terrible.’ she repeats sadly. ‘What did you do?’

‘Averted my eyes and walked on!’ Evelyn looks surprised at the question. ‘What else was I expected to do? He called out but I walked faster. I had no wish to view that spectacle from any closer than the other side of the road thank you very much!’

‘But he might have needed help’ Sandra Mossop suggests hesitantly, her hand shaking nervously under Evelyn’s glare as she replaces her cup on its saucer.

‘He has neighbours!’ Evelyn retorts. ‘I, on the other hand was simply a passer by.’ She nods as her coffee is placed in front of her and drops the exact money on the waitress’s tray.

‘Oh, full of Christian charity.’ Edna Smith mutters sarcastically under her breath.

‘I heard that, Edna.’ Evelyn sniffs.

‘Well, honestly! What harm has George ever done you? You could have asked if he was alright. There’s quite a chill wind even though the sun is out. Poor man could catch his death.’

The doorbell tinkles. ‘Morning everyone!’ Jessie Shepherd smiles brightly. ‘Just popped out for some milk and I saw you lot gabbing so I thought I might as well join you for a few minutes.’ She sits at an adjacent table. ‘Tea, dear, please.’ She smiles up at the young waitress who appears at her elbow almost immediately. ‘She’s new’ she comments as the girl scuttles off. ‘Very keen’

‘Liz from the paper shop’s niece or something, just helping out for a while.’ Sandra leans towards her to impart the knowledge, giving her chance to roll her eyes and nod almost imperceptibly at Evelyn.

‘What we talking about then?’ Jessie asks directly. ‘You been at the lemon drops again, Eve?’

Sandra shrivels under the look she gets from Evelyn.

‘And you needn’t look at her like that.’ Jessie scolds. ‘She said nothing. I don’t need anybody to tell me you’ve got a cob on, if that chin sticks out any more we could hang our coats on it. Who’s upset you now?’

‘Nobody has upset me at all!’ Evelyn refutes.

‘Left leg’s got bells on it. Come on, out with it.’

Preparing to tell her story, Evelyn again presses her hand to her chest, drawing a weary sigh from Kathleen. ‘Oh, for goodness sake, Eve!’ she turns to face Jessie. ‘It’s a bit worrying, really. I might just pop down and see if everything is alright.’ She flicks her eyes at Evelyn. ‘Since some people chose to walk past. It’s George.’

‘Oh, what’s he been up to now ?’ Jessie asks with a chuckle. ‘Not got drunk and fallen down one of his graves again has he?’

‘Nooo, if only it were that.’ Kathleen says solemnly. ‘Evelyn says she saw him out in his garden..’ she lowers her voice to a whisper ‘in just his underwear. I think I’d better go and see if he needs any help, poor man.’

Jessie struggles to swallow her first sip of tea without choking. ‘Underwear?’

‘Apparently so.’ Sandra eyes Evelyn cautiously, afraid of incurring some fresh reprimand.

‘That is correct’ Evelyn says firmly. ‘That man is a menace to society.’

‘Oh, give over!’ Jessie snaps. ‘One whiff of a vest and he’s some sort of sex pest? I know what all this is about and he was not in his underwear.’

‘Oh, yes he was. And at no point did I infer that he was…. what you have just said.’

‘We were worried that he might be….losing his marbles.’ Edna sighs heavily. ‘Such a shame.’

Jessie glowers at Evelyn ‘And if he were, that would make him a menace to society would it? Well, pray to God you never go senile.’

‘He is then?’ Sandra’s voice trembles. ‘Oh, the poor, poor man.’

‘No, he isn’t.’ Jessie smiles reassuringly. ‘Although I do reckon he’s losing his marbles.‘ she chuckles.

‘But I saw him in his underwear!’ Evelyn insists loudly. Customers at other tables turn to look.

‘Eve!’ Kathleen hisses. ‘Keep your voice down.’ She turns to Jessie. ‘Losing his marbles?’

Jessie giggles. ‘What else would you call it, deciding to take up running at his age?’

‘Ah!’ The light dawns in Kathleen’s eyes. ‘Not underwear.’

‘Nooo! Although, knowing George, he was more than likely wearing a regular sort of vest. Can’t see him laying out good money to get himself kitted out like Kester.’

‘Kester James? What’s he got to do with all this?’ Edna asks.

‘All his fault.’ Jessie rolls her eyes. ‘I’m sure he was only joking but George took him up on it. You know how fit Kester is….’

‘Oooooh yes.’ Sandra lets out an involuntary murmur of approval and blushes crimson as the other women turn to look at her.

‘Agreed!’ Jessie nods at Sandra with a grin. ‘He makes an old woman very happy at times, I can tell you. Those legs!’

‘That chest’ Sandra murmurs again, emboldened by Jessie’s frankness.

‘Tight buns!’ Jessie adds gleefully.

Kathleen pauses, the last of her Chelsea bun in her fingers, eyeing it with a wicked smile before popping it in her mouth with an audible ‘Yum!’ and almost choking on it as she giggles.

‘You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!’ The corners of Evelyn’s mouth turn down with disapproval. ‘Women of your age.’

‘Oh, flipping heck!’ Jessie retorts, waving her down. ‘It’s only a bit of fun. And Sandra’s damn near got forty years on all of us, so you can’t go on at her for doing a bit of drooling.’

‘I wasn’t drooling’ Sandra whispers, lowering her head as if ashamed.

‘Why not? Everybody else does…well, almost everybody.’ Jessie gives Evelyn a withering glance. ‘I could eat him…. given half the chance and a new set of dentures.’

Evelyn purses her lips at their laughter. ‘And he ought to know better!’

‘Kester?’

‘George!’

‘Why?’

‘Well, honestly. Need you ask? A man of his age.’

‘So, we were too old and now he’s too old to have a little fun? Have it your way.’ Jessie begins to lose her patience. ‘At least if we keeled over right now, we would have had a bloody good time while we’ve been here. What’s wrong with that?’

‘He’s going running with Kester?’ Edna looks from one to the other of them, interrupting in the hope of saving the argument from escalating. ‘Is that what you said?’

Jessie takes a few steadying sips from her tea, eventually calming enough to smile. ‘That’s right.’ She sets the cup down with a small chuckle. ‘We got chatting when me and George took a trip up Battle Hill. Lovely day for a picnic it was and so clear, the view was beautiful. Kester was already there, he’d overtaken us on the way up.’

‘Not surprising, it’s a bit of a climb.’ Kathleen comments.

‘But we were in George’s car!’ Jessie hoots. ‘And he went running past like we were standing still….which we were.... almost. George isn’t very good at gears. Anyway, Kes was admiring the view too, having a bit of a breather before starting back….’ Her eyes assume a faraway look. ‘Although he didn’t really need it.... not a breather as such...wasn't even puffing....  a bit sweaty maybe.... his vest sort of clung to him... and his hair…’

‘Jessie!’

She grins as Edna gives her a nudge. ‘Phew! Where was I?’

‘Having a bit of mad passionate with Kester James, I think.’ Edna snorts.

Evelyn pushes her chair back and stands in one swift movement. Without a word, she stalks from the café. They watch her go, looking at each other as the door closes behind her, the bell still vibrating from it having been wrenched open.

‘Guess we’ve done it again.’ Sandra whispers.

‘She gets on her high horse with everybody. I do wish you wouldn’t let her bully you though.’ Jessie says, moving to the vacant seat.

‘I know’ Sandra blinks. ‘But she frightens me to death. I can never think of anything to say until I get home.’ She gives an embarrassed smile. ‘It’s easy then. I’m really a force to be reckoned with when I’m home. I’ve never been very good with people like that.’

‘It takes practice.’ Jessie rubs a reassuring hand on Sandra’s arm. ‘Don’t worry about it. Me, thee and them, we’re alright, even if we are a bit ancient.’

‘You speak for yourself!’ Kathleen huffs with a smile. ‘Go on, you never finished your tale.’

Jessie sighs dramatically. ‘I know, I got a bit carried away with Kester James didn’t I?’

‘You wish!’ Sandra interjects and blushes again at the women’s surprise at her quick response, ‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t apologise, girl!’ Edna laughs. ‘Nice to see you normal.’

‘Not sure about the normal.’ Jessie grimaces. ‘More like us, at any rate.’ she laughs.

‘So, George is going running?’ Kathleen prompts again.

‘Mmm.’ Jessie reaches behind her and retrieves her tea from the other table. ‘Can’t remember how we got on to it but George was having a moan. That new doctor reckons he’s overweight! Can’t see it myself but there you are. They seem obsessed by weight these days. I was teasing him and telling him that a bit less beer and a bit more exercise wouldn’t go amiss and he only went and asked Kester if that was right.’

‘He agreed?’

‘Sort of.’ Jessie’s brow furrows. ‘He said something about there being nothing like a run for clearing a hangover and it probably cancelled the beer out because he didn’t put on any weight and George ought to try it. I’m sure he was only having a laugh but George took him seriously. Next thing you know, poor Kester had agreed to take him out with him a time or two. I think he was worried about him going like a bat out of hell and doing too much. You know George.’

‘Indeed I do!’ Kathleen scowls. ‘Haven’t forgiven him yet for taking a nap at the bottom of the grave he was digging. Trying to get three done in one day, I ask you!’

‘Those people needed planting.’ Jessie tries to make excuses for him. ‘And he was just too tired to get out of the last one.’

‘Maybe so but do you know what it was like hearing snoring coming from an open grave?’

‘I can guess.’ Jessie giggles. ‘Which reminds me. I was going to the churchyard, I only popped out for some milk. I’d best get on. If I’m quick, I might spot Kester seeing George back again. They don’t go very far.’

‘In that case, we’ll walk you home.’ Edna chortles.

Chapter One

The Old Mill Cafe

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