‘Oh, Jessie!’ Sandra bursts into tears as Jessie opens the door.
‘What on earth’s the matter?’ Jessie ushers her into the living room and sits her down on the sofa.
‘It’s Tim!’ Sandra wails.
‘What about him? Don’t tell me he doesn’t have the equipment after all’ Jessie smirks to cover her anxiety.
‘Nooooo!’ Sandra sobs. ‘I wish he hadn’t!’
‘Sandra…’ Jessie bites her lip. ‘I did say it wouldn’t be much first time out….Was it…were you nervous? That can sometimes…make things… difficult shall we say’
‘Nooooo!’
‘Did you…did you…did it happen?’ Jessie asks in a whisper.
Sandra nods.
‘And everything was alright?’ she ventures, feeling the heat come into her face.
Sandra nods again ‘I think so’
‘So what…’
‘He’s been seeing someone else!’ Sandra launches into a fresh bout of crying.
Jessie inhales deeply and noisily. ‘Oh’
‘N-not regularly…but he has!’
‘He told you?’
‘Yeeess’ Sandra wails ‘after I tried to explain…m-my p-problem’ She draws a shuddering breath. ‘What am I going to do?’
‘Well..’ Jessie hands her a handkerchief from her apron pocket. ‘That would depend’
‘On what?’ Sandra scrubs at her eyes and blows her nose.
‘Tell me what he said….not the exact words…but…Did he just come straight out with it…sort of like…as if he was trying to upset you…get back at you in any way?’
‘Oh, Jess…it was awful…really awful. We were so happy afterwards, we both cried a bit, laughing and crying at the same time…and I was telling him what a fool I’d been…and he just started sobbing his heart out. I couldn’t make out what he was saying at first…But then…I did’ Her face crumples. ‘He kept saying he was sorry….and how much he loved me…’
‘And you believe him?’ Jessie sits with he hand on Sandra’s shoulder, stroking and patting and trying to calm her down.
‘He was so upset…I-I have t-to believe him…he wouldn’t have cried like that otherwise, would he?’
‘Well, it wasn’t that he’d been found out…because he told you’ Jessie says thoughtfully ‘He needn’t have done that I suppose… so I don’t think he was trying to squirm his way out of a difficult situation by turning on the waterworks…but you know him better than me’
‘I don’t know him at all, do I?’
‘A mite better than I do at any rate. You think you can forgive him?’
‘You think I should?’ Sandra stops crying long enough to turn a questioning gaze on Jessie.
‘Sandra…I can’t answer that, it wouldn’t be right. That’s your decision…but….I would think…only think, mind’ She raises a cautionary index finger. ‘…That it isn’t likely to happen again…not now’
‘You mean he…w-went with someone else because….of me…the way I’ve been?’
‘At a guess’ Jessie nods and gives a slight grimace. ‘You know much about this ‘other woman’. What did he tell you?’
Sandra takes a deep breath and wipes her nose. ‘I was too stunned to take in all of what he was saying …and he was crying so hard…but…h-he didn’t see her often’ Her hand falls to her lap and she straightens her shoulders in an attempt to pull herself together and stop shaking ‘They got chatting at one of these conference things he has to go to sometimes…And he does go to them…there are definitely conferences. That isn’t an excuse for…seeing her. I know because I call him sometimes…at the hotels…and he calls me…I see the paperwork and everything…he sometimes has to do presentations’
‘I’m not doubting he’s honest…as far as that goes’ Jessie smiles sympathetically. ‘So that’s where they met?’
‘That’s where they would always meet. Most of those that go meet socially in the evenings, it’s not all work…they meet in the bar…or some of them go for a meal somewhere other than the hotel. I didn’t realise…th-that… there was anything else going on’
‘She doesn’t live locally?’
‘No…she’s from another division’ Sandra’s resolve falters. ‘Tell me what to do, Jessie, please’ she pleads ‘I’m all upside down…I was so happy…and then…then this!’ She starts to cry again, silent tears rolling down her cheeks ‘Help me’
Jessie blinks, surreptitiously wiping the corner of her eye with one finger. ‘Where is he now, still at home?’
‘He went out the same time as usual… to work. He looked so miserable. He tried to speak to me again…but…I couldn’t…I just couldn’t. I’ve never turned away from him…ever…until today’
‘You love him?’
‘What sort of stupid question’s that?’ Sandra rounds on her. ‘Of course I do!’ Shock registers on her face. ‘I’m sorry’
‘It’s alright, child, I understand, you’re hurt and you’re angry’ Jessie strokes a hand over the back of Sandra’s head.
‘He’s my world!’ Sandra sobs piteously.
‘And I rather think you’re his, despite what he’s done’ Jessie says softly
‘You do?’
‘I’ve seen you together…the way he looks at you. I can’t pretend I’m not shocked...because I am…to the core. He’s the last person I would think would play away from home. He didn’t ever see her…when they weren’t at these conference things?’
‘No, never…he swears not, anyway’
‘So…. do you know how long this has been going on for…how many of these conferences he’s been to?’
‘You mean…how many times has he…been with her? Why should that make a difference? He’s cheated on me…and he’s admitted it. Once or a hundred times, he still cheated!’
‘Shushh. Yes...he has’ Jessie soothes ‘But I don’t know the woman’s circumstances…or how it came about…How they moved from work colleague to…something else. I certainly can’t believe that he went looking for any sort of affair. You need to talk to him some more, Sandra’
‘I can’t’
‘Yes you can. This marriage of yours is worth trying to save isn’t it?’
‘We’ve been so happy…despite…you know…me’
‘And that’s where the problem’s been, I think. Not that I’m excusing him or putting any blame on you…but a man would have to be a eunuch to sleep with someone for seven years and not…. He could’ve tried to force himself on you’
‘He would never have done that’ Sandra looks shocked.
‘That’s what I’m saying, he could’ve done but he didn’t. He was happy enough otherwise….but needed some sort of…’ Jessie finds herself unusually hesitant ‘Outlet shall we say? It could’ve been worse’
‘How could anything be worse than this?’
‘There could have been a lot of different women…or women he could go to..’
‘You mean…Oh God!’ Sandra hides her face in her hands.
‘But he didn’t….I’m presuming he didn’t?’ Jessie draws her hands away and sits holding them.
‘No…from what little he did say…this woman was the only woman he’s been with since we’ve been married. He’s so shy…I just don’t understand…’
‘Perhaps she is too’ Jessie suggests with a small shrug. ‘Who’s to know? Perhaps they found that in common. I’ve seen these sorts of things. Not conferences but me and Tom used to go to functions and there were always those who were sort of on the edge, not really joining in, the opposite to the life and soul of the party. Used to tickle Tom to death that some of them that were really quite assertive in their job were hopeless socially…not that I’m saying Tim’s hopeless’
Sandra smiles despite herself. ‘He is though……probably not hopeless but…he’s not comfortable. You think that’s what happened? That they found themselves talking to each other because they were the only two not really joining in with whatever was going on?’ she asks hopefully.
‘I can’t say…Tim’s the only one that can tell you that…and you’ve got to ask him, talk to him, give him chance to explain properly’
‘Would you if you were me?’
‘Sandra, I’ve already said I can’t decide for you….but…if pressed…I’d have to say yes. Talking doesn’t say you’ve forgiven him, talking doesn’t say everything’s automatically going back to the way it was..’
‘I don’t want it to go back to how it was…I want it to go back to how it was last night before he…before he told me!’ Sandra’s cheeks burn with indignation.
‘Then go and talk to him…see if you can work this out. It would be such a shame if you were both stupid’
‘You think I’m being stupid?’ Sandra’s question falls between annoyance and uncertainty.
‘I think you would be if you didn’t go and talk to him properly. He’s been stupid enough for the both of you…but I wouldn’t dive headlong into a divorce just yet’
‘But he’s at work’
‘Don’t make excuses. Ring him’
‘I can’t ring him at work!’ Sandra objects.
‘Don’t tell me you’ve never had to ring him at work before…I wouldn’t believe you. Just ring him and tell him you want to talk to him. If he’s got anything about him at all, he’ll drop everything and come home. Go on…give it a try’
Sandra takes her mobile phone from her handbag and brings up Tim’s direct line number. She hesitates. ‘But I don’t know what to say’
‘You may not have to say anything much….but you have to give it a go, Sandra, really you do. You don’t want to look back and regret anything…’
Sandra presses the call button and waits, dabbing at her eyes, the thought of talking to her husband making her weepy again.
‘H-Hello?…Is Mr.Mossop there?…Oh’ Her chin trembles ‘Okay...No, no message’
She stares at the phone before lifting her distraught face to Jessie ‘He’s not there!’
‘Oh, yeah, hello’ Leonie acknowledges her but doesn’t smile.
‘Lovely weather for ducks’ Helen tries again.
‘Wouldn’t know. I’m in the car’
‘So am I. I usually walk but I have a meeting this morning and I didn’t want to turn up looking like a drowned rat’
‘Really?’ Leonie eyes Helen’s damp hair.
Helen self-consciously puts a hand to her head. ‘Not too bad. At least I’m dry under here’
‘Yes’ Leonie says, barely disguising the sneer in her voice as her eyes fall to the belted raincoat.
‘Not very elegant but it does the job’ Helen’s chin tilts defiantly in the face of Leonie’s obvious distaste. ‘Leonie, I don’t know what I’ve done for you to be so unfriendly but, since I expect we shall be seeing quite a lot of each other as you are a friend of Kester’s, it would be nice if we could get along, wouldn’t it?’
‘Get along?’ Leonie laughs unkindly. ‘Which Edwardian etiquette manual did you get that from?’
Helen colours, the muscles at her jaw bunching with anger. ‘Fair enough. Nobody can say that I haven’t tried. Kester and I are friends. If you don’t like that, it’s just too bad’
‘He’ll dump you. He dumps everybody eventually’ Leonie says airily as she walks past.
Milliwick Newsagents
Chapter Seven
Rose Cottage Albans Lane
