‘I couldn’t believe it when he turned up here!’ Nathan drops the teaspoon onto the worktop with a clatter and turns to hand a mug to Ingrid.

‘You’re not going to like this but I can sort of see his side of things’ Ingrid says, setting the mug down again and taking her cigarettes from her handbag. Grimacing, she offers one to Nathan. ‘I’m supposed to be cutting down’

‘You can?’ Nathan takes a cigarette from the packet and lowers his head to the flame from Ingrid’s lighter.

‘You were a bit taken aback when you found out what it was all about. Imagine how he felt’

‘I right dick probably’ Nathan exhales the smoke through his nose.

‘Precisely. People must be laughing their socks off at him for being so naïve, shafted by a woman? Huh!’ She grunts a derisive laugh as she lights her own cigarette. ‘…And mud sticks’ she says, dropping the pack and her lighter into her bag again. ‘He might not have been directly involved in the dealing or the women but in a roundabout way it was his money that was funding the set up..’ She takes her mug and follows Nathan into the sitting room. ‘… and that…Danielle or whatever her name is, her and that Roy Denton were creaming off the top? They must’ve had some bloody death wish! Try and put one over on Gerry Bartlett? Sod that! No wonder they wanted to shut you up’

‘But I didn’t know anything!’ Nathan sits down and pushes an ashtray towards her before crossing his legs and leaning back. ‘I was only speculating the same as I am now. I thought my bitch was with Vince Wilson’

‘She was’ Ingrid smirks.

‘Leave it out, ok?’ He glares in mock reproach. ‘Big mistake’

‘You ought to’ve been more careful’

‘Look…if it looks like chicken…feels like chicken…tastes like chicken…then the betting is, it is chicken. She looks a damn sight younger than she is, had no rings on, she... well…. she just acted single!’

‘Oh, we all do that when we’re out’ Ingrid sucks in her cheeks.

‘You wouldn’t feel a bloke up on the dance floor would you?’

‘I might…depending on how much I’d had to drink’

‘Ingrid! I’m shocked’ Nathan splutters, chuckling as Ingrid leans forward to nonchalantly flick ash into the ashtray.

‘Yeah, right!’ She looks at him out of the corner of her eye. ’Right! Enough about Vince bloody Wilson and that bitch of a woman. You reckon you’re coming back to work?’

‘As long as I don’t do any heavy lifting for a while, doc doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem’ Nathan nods ‘And I’m not going to frighten the clients off now am I?’

‘Oh, I don’t know’ Ingrid replies slowly with feigned uncertainty.

‘Thanks! Whaddya reckon to…’ Nathan pinches his chin several times between thumb and forefinger.

‘Nice now you’ve cut it all in and trimmed it to stubble. Suits you’

‘Shall I keep it then?’ he asks

‘Up to your woman, not me’

‘You’re the only woman I’ve got right now’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah. I didn’t get back to her, did I? Got all pissy with me when I did get round to ringing’ Nathan scowls and crushes his cigarette in the ashtray.

‘You mean…while you were in hospital?’ Ingrid says incredulously. ‘But surely she knew where you were? Doesn’t she read the papers or watch telly?’

‘Apparently not’ He exhales the smoke from his final draw.

‘But…didn’t you take her with you when you went to Eric’s?’

‘Yup! More fool me. Never mind. Nice while it lasted. So, how’s Charlene working out? Bit of a struggle?’

‘No, that’s the last thing she is’ Ingrid says with a smile. ‘Ok, so she’s a bit slow with some things and I crease up at the gems she comes out with but I try not to laugh in front of her. Otherwise’ She folds the stub of her cigarette into the ashtray. ‘She rarely needs telling more than twice and the men love her’

‘Better watch that, then’ Nathan raises his eyebrows and takes on a serious look.

‘Noo…she’s got them eating out of her hand!’ Ingrid laughs in response. ‘The way she stands there with her hand on her hip saying ‘It can’t be done, ok?’ when they try to wangle something out of her. She’s so serious when she says it, they just laugh and go away’ Shaking her head, she smiles again. ‘And I should think we’ll save a mint on pens, she’s only keeping a list of who’s had a new one and when… and they don’t half get a telling off if they lose it’

‘You’re joking’ Nathan chuckles his disbelief.

‘I’m not…they’re only allowed one and a spare….and you won’t be able to use A4 pads just to doodle on either’

‘But I’m the boss!’ he protests.

‘It won’t matter to her. She is so chuffed with everything she can call her own, she expects everyone to be the same’ Ingrid leans forward and asks seriously ‘Can we keep her?’

‘You want to?’ Nathan says noncommittally.

‘I did wonder at first how she’d fit in. Give her filing or the chart or even a column of figures and she’s away but other things she’s a lot slower at. She’s so painstaking at times it could drive you potty if you watched but the thing is she works all day, slowly, but she doesn’t skive a minute so by the end of the day, she’s got everything done and more. You won’t recognise your office’ she tells him with ill-concealed glee.

‘Hell! She hasn’t been in there mucking up my system has she?’ Nathan folds his arms and scowls thunderously.

‘Your system?’

‘I’m sure I had one…’ he huffs only half jokingly.

‘If you did, it’s dust free and tidy now’ Ingrid laughs.

‘The sooner I get back to work the better’ he grumbles ‘Let me think on it, see for myself when I come in, then we’ll have another talk about it, ok?’

Dell Cottage, Washbrook Lane

Chapter Seven

Merranport

‘Not quite up to last week’s standard but I really enjoyed those’ Helen licks her fingers and grins.

‘Not up to last week’s standard?’ Kester huffs ‘If you think we’re wining and dining like that every time we go out, you’ve got another think coming as George would say!’

‘I did say I enjoyed them’ Helen says in a quieter voice ‘…..and I did…really’

Kester closes his eyes and puffs his cheeks as his head falls back against the headrest ‘Got to stop pulling your leg haven’t I?’ He turns to look at her and puts out his hand to squeeze hers. ‘Sorry’

‘No…I’m sorry. I thought you were annoyed with me…I can’t see your face properly in the dark. I should know by now’

‘Why would I be annoyed with you?’ He turns sideways on and puts his arm along the back of her seat, leaning closer. ‘Eh?’ His thumb rubs against the side of her cheek. ‘Believe me, if I were annoyed with you, you’d know it’ He smiles.

Helen lifts her head. ‘Just for a second I thought you might…think I expected more…I…I don’t…No, that’s not right. That sounds as if I don’t expect much from you at all and that’s not what I mean’

‘Helen?’

‘Mmm?’

‘Shut up!’ Kester grins.

She frowns at him. ‘That’s twice you’ve told me to..’ His mouth lowers and her words are lost.

‘You taste of vinegar’ he says, rubbing his nose against hers as the kiss ends.

‘And you taste of salt! Salt’s not good for you, you know’

‘You can’t have chips without salt! Don’t you start nagging, woman’

‘No…alright…I won’t’ Helen’s head bows again.

‘Hey! Enough, ok?’ Kester drops his hand to her shoulder and gives her a brief hug. ‘What happened to that really scary girl? You know the one…used to bite my head off every time I looked at her. What happened to her?’

‘I think she got scared’ Helen turns away to look out of the side window of the car.

Kester sits back, the flat of his hand resting between her shoulder blades. ‘Scared?’ he says quietly. ‘You want to go, right?’ he asks, rubbing his hand soothingly against her back. ‘Ok’ He gathers the chip trays and paper wrapping together and pushes them into the bag they were bought in. ‘You should’ve said something. This isn’t parking like we did when we were kids you know…..this was a trip to the coast to see the sea…and there it is!’ For a few moments, he gazes out of the windscreen and watches the grey sea smash against the rocks, illuminated only by the streetlights on the other side of the small bay. ‘Something awe inspiring about the sea when it’s rough isn’t there? …’ He smiles as he looks back at her. ’I’m not going to pounce…that’s not why I suggested we come here’

‘No…it’s not that.. I’m not worried about being here with you like this….It’s…quite romantic really….even eating chips’ Helen returns his smile with a careful one of her own.

‘What then?’

‘It’s just that…’

‘Yes?’

‘I’m not sure how to put it’

‘Just try…give me a clue…otherwise I’m not going to know what I’m doing wrong am I?’ Kester grins.

‘That’s just it….you’re not’

‘Run that by me again….I must be doing something that’s putting you on edge. Tell me….please. Promise I won’t push you out of the car and drive off’ he chuckles and makes a cross over his heart with his finger.

‘See?….That’s part of it, I think….You’re..’

‘I’m what?’

‘Always making jokes and you’re…too nice’

He snorts with laughter ‘Too nice? I’ve been called some things but…’

‘Please don’t laugh…’ Helen pleads, her hand shaking a little as she tucks her hair behind her ear. ‘I’m trying to explain as best I can. I’m so scared of upsetting you… spoiling things. I never know for sure when you’re teasing….and..’ She looks away as his face grows solemn, and down to her lap where his hand has closed over hers.

‘Go on’

‘I spend the whole time I’m alone with you, holding my breath…because there’s this niggling feeling at the back of my mind that any minute now, you’re going to laugh and say this whole thing is a joke. This you and me…’ she explains a whisper. ‘And I’m waiting for it to happen. You’ve been so nice to me…good to me, and so kind’ Helen lifts her head to find him studying her thoughtfully. ‘I know that sounds twee but you have and part of me can’t understand why you would want to do that…..and it keeps telling me that the only explanation is that it’s a joke. Some sort of retaliation for me being so awful to you’

‘Helen, no. You know that’s not true’

‘Most of me knows…but…’ she shrugs and looks down again.

‘And the spoiling things?’

‘That if I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, this is all going to end…and….I really don’t want it to…not yet’ she mumbles.

‘Not yet?’ Kester coaxes an answer.

‘You know what I mean. When you said about it being over before it got started…and what you felt like inside, I knew exactly what you meant although I didn’t want to admit that to myself let alone you…not then and I still feel the same way’

‘You thought what I said was a joke too?’ Kester strokes her hair.

‘I don’t know what I thought…or what I’m thinking now’ Helen replies slowly.

His hand cups her chin and tilts her face towards him. ‘None of this is a joke as far as I’m concerned’ he says gravely ‘and I’ve got no plans for us to finish yet awhile. You’re happy otherwise?’ he asks.

Helen nods. ‘Very’

‘Then what’s the problem?’ Kester brushes her hair from her forehead and sits with his hand cupped against her cheek.

Helen lowers her eyes. ‘Yet another bit of baggage, I suppose. I’m sorry. T..Toby wasn’t the kindest of people now I look back on things…You’ve helped me realise that at least. I mean…not just…afterwards. He wasn’t before…you know. I’d always been a strong person but I can see now how much I’d changed while I was with him. I know you have to change a little. I know that allowances…and compromise have to be made. It’s all part of any relationship, I realise that but…’

‘It was you making all the allowances and it wasn’t so much compromise as backing down?’

‘You don’t realise at the time, do you? It creeps up on you, little by little until….until you’re just an extension of someone else…a very compliant extension of someone else’

‘And you thought that’s what I expected too?’ Kester exhales noisily.

‘In a way….that if talked back…if I tried too hard to get back to how I was…you wouldn’t..’

‘Want you?’

‘Like me’

‘He-len!’ he laughs softly.

‘No...that’s not so silly when you think about it. It took for me to be completely vulnerable and devastatingly upset for you to ask me out. That was the person you wanted…liked…someone so different from the old me’

‘No it wasn’t!’ He objects with a louder, unguarded laugh. ‘It was the crabby, unapproachable, seriously scary Helen I fell in love with!’

‘What?’ Helen looks at him with a startled frown.

‘Sorry…’ Kester grimaces and turns away. ‘Leave it. Forget I said anything. I’ll just get rid of this and we’ll get going, yeah?’ He reaches for the door handle, peering into the dark and scanning the small car park at the top of the shallow cliff for a waste bin.

‘Kester?’

‘None of this is a joke. That’s all you’ve got to remember. Ok?’ he says gruffly without looking round. He gets out of the car and closes the door behind him.