‘I feel such a fool’ Sandra mumbles, her face still hidden in her hands. ‘That’s what we’re supposed to be doing?’
‘Oh, Sandra…I didn’t mean to embarrass you…but I had to ask’ Jessie strokes Sandra’s slumped shoulder. ‘You seemed so confused as to what I was getting at’ she says gently.
‘Not surprising really, is it?’ Sandra blinks away tears of humiliation, her mouth fixed in a self-conscious smile as she lifts her head.
‘I can’t understand how…’
‘I honestly didn’t know…I thought…’ Sandra wipes beneath her eyes with the flat of her fingers.
‘That all you had to do was sleep with one another….But surely you did sex education at school?’ Jessie asks, her hand moves to stroke the back of Sandra’s head and falls again to give a comforting hug.
‘I think I would’ve remembered’
‘But every flipping telly programme you watch these days seems to have people at it….Didn’t anyone ever tell you what went on between girls and boys? Didn’t anyone ever tell you to be careful…you know…’
‘Nobody’ Sandra says sadly ‘I don’t supposed I had the most normal of upbringings…perhaps everyone thought someone else had taken care of it’
‘But…books…magazines…that sort of thing’ Jessie removes her glasses and rubs the condensation from them on the hem of her skirt, wiping the perspiration caused by her own embarrassment from her forehead with the back of her hand before replacing them again.
Sandra shakes her head.
‘Friends having a bit of a gossip in the loos at school…other boyfriends trying it on?’
‘I…I didn’t really make any friends, not the type that would talk about that sort of …personal matter…’ Sandra admits ‘….and Tim…he’s the only man I’ve ever been out with’ she adds shyly.
‘Yes… and Tim’s probably the biggest ‘but’ of all…Why did he never…’
‘Oh…Jessie’ Sandra hides her face against Jessie’s shoulder as her arm goes around her once more.
‘I mean to say…what was that film…two kiddies on a desert island…They didn’t ‘know’ but they soon worked it out for themselves when they grew up. Nature has a way of doing that…I suppose…I mean…nobody tells animals what to do, do they? Surely Tim knew what it was all about?’
‘I…don’t honestly know…I think so…No…Now I know, I’m sure he did… does…’
‘He has….you know…..got all the equipment hasn’t he?’ Jessie asks tentatively.
‘Oh…’ Sandra sits up, her face scarlet. ‘Um….yes…he has’
‘Phew! Thank goodness for that’ Jessie fans more embarrassment from her face ‘…I thought maybe he was a…Well, never mind…And…he hasn’t got…any special male friends has he?’
‘He’s not gay if that’s what you mean! He’s very loving…very…close’
‘But not that close’
Sandra bows her head ‘I think this is all my fault…he…I think he does want to….do what you said…but…..perhaps I give him the impression that I don’t….but I didn’t understand what was happening….He still loves me…I’m sure of it, nothing’s changed about the way he treats me…but he doesn’t try to…you know…cuddle.. so much any more…’ She covers her face with her hands. ‘Oh God!’ she groans ‘Please don’t tell anyone…I feel so stupid!’
‘For goodness sake, Sandra, what do you take me for? I’m not going to say anything but…if you and he want a family…and presumably he knows you want a baby…why has he never…..explained!’
‘I guess that’s because…he’s just as shy as I am…about our bodies….Perhaps he…Oh I don’t know! Maybe he didn’t want to ….upset me or anything. He knows I hate being laughed at’
‘He wouldn’t’ve laughed at you, that I do know’
‘He wouldn’t’ve laughed…not physically laughed…but he would probably think I was thinking he wanted to laugh…and that would upset him’
Jessie shakes the confusion from her head ‘I think I got that’
‘What do I do Jessie?’ Sandra pleads, her eyes round and unblinking..
‘Gawd! I’ve just gone through agonies telling you what you’re supposed to do! That was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to explain’
‘I don’t mean…do… I understand what’s supposed to happen now…but what do I do about Tim?’
‘For a start, you go home. It must be nearly time for him to come in from work’
‘Nooo….How do I tell him….that I didn’t realise….what he….?’
‘Perhaps best you don’t… not yet….leave it until…’
‘Afterwards?’
Jessie nods and squeezes her hand. ‘So much easier….he’ll only get nervous if he thinks…’
‘Him get nervous?’ Sandra gives a small, almost hysterical laugh ‘Oh hell, Jessie!’
‘Sandra…just let it happen. That’s what my mother would’ve had to do. All she would’ve been told was to lie back and think of England. There weren’t many women that knew exactly what they should expect on their wedding night’
‘And nor did I..’ Sandra says ruefully.
‘But I doubt any husband would’ve even tried to be as understanding as Tim…It’ll be ok… I can almost guarantee that. Snuggle up and tell him you love him, that should give him a bit of a clue…a bit of a green light’
‘Is there anything else…that….that I should do….know?’
‘Oh flipping heck…Jessie Shepherd, sex expert…I’m supposed to tell you everything before he gets home? You learn as you go along…get a few books if you really want to know all the ins and outs …’ She giggles ‘Oh dear…perhaps I shouldn’t have used quite those words but never mind. Have a glass of wine with supper…relax…and just do what comes naturally. You’ll soon get the hang of it, really you will…It might not be much first time out…but it’ll get better. Didn’t you ever feel….you know…like you were missing out on something….all fluttery and a bit warm?’
‘You mean like when we talk about Kester out running and things like that?’
‘Mmm…..That sort of feeling…but more of an urge…with Tim’
‘Oh God!’ Sandra moans again ‘Yes’ she admits in a whisper ‘But…nooo…I can’t even say..’ She bites her lip and shakes her head.
‘Go on…’
Sandra starts to laugh ‘I thought that was…’
‘It?’
‘Pretty much…’
Jessie joins in her laughter ‘Thank God nobody ever asked if you were having an affair with Kester James…you’d probably’ve said yes!’
‘Oh, Jessie!’
‘Is this where I come?’ Charlene asks nervously of a man peering into the engine of a dumper truck parked outside the open doors of a cavernous shed as her taxi drives away.
‘Depends what you’ve come for, darlin!’ The man grins past the cigarette held in his mouth and wipes his hands on an oily rag.
‘I..I’m here to see Mrs….. Something beginning with H, I think…I dunno cos I only met her once and I didn’t hear properly…..Ingrid?’
‘Ingrid? That’s Mrs. Harlow. Right you are. You’ve gone past, sweetheart. Come on’ He leads her back across the yard to the metal building almost hidden behind a high sided truck. ‘Delivery’ he explains unnecessarily. ‘INGRID!’ he bellows, making Charlene jump. He laughs, his hand on the rail of the steps leading up to the offices. ‘You’ll have to get used to a bit of noise if you’re going to be working here. SOMEONE FOR YOU!’ he yells again.
‘I don’t know if I’ll be working here ….not yet….that’s what I’ve come for….I might not get it. It’s only for a little while, anyway’
‘Gertcha! You’ll be alright don’t you worry. At least you talks’
‘I can…yes’ Charlene looks perplexed.
‘Charlene ..Hi…come on up’ Ingrid says from the top of the steps ‘Thanks, Phil’
‘Ohh…this is like the Tardis innit?’ Charlene looks round the office in awe ‘It int half big when you get inside’
‘I suppose it is’ Ingrid agrees as she walks back to her desk.
‘And is this where Nathan sits?’ Charlene says, peering through the door to his office. ‘Bit scruffy int it?’
Ingrid laughs. ‘Don’t you let him hear you say that. I’m always on at him about keeping it tidy’
‘I don’t suppose he gets time. I could do it…if I was working here couldn’t I?’
Charlene wanders around the room, looking at notice boards and running her finger down the spines of ledgers and file boxes as she reads them.
‘You look a bit unsure’ Ingrid says, sensing her apprehension.
‘It all looks a bit hard.. It’s nice of you an’ that…but I wouldn’t want to let you down or nothing…..I know I’m a bit thick…It’s ok, you don’t have to be nice about it’ she grimaces as Ingrid opens her mouth to speak ‘I never was much good at school. I missed ever such a lot. I was ill. I weren’t playing truant nor nothing‘ she adds quickly ‘I know people laugh at me cos I say daft things but I don’t always know, do I?’
‘No…you don’t. And how would you know if you didn’t ask?’
Charlene smiles with relief ‘I knew what you’d understand what I meant’
‘Did you get any qualifications, Charlene?’ Ingrid asks as she takes a copy of an application form from the printer next to her computer.
‘Not so’s you’d notice. I int bad at sums’ she offers hesitantly ‘And I can do most things if people shows me how. It’s just that they can’t always be bothered can they?’
‘Would you know how to put something in alphabetical order?’
‘I int that stupid!’ Charlene retorts then puts her hand over her mouth ‘Sorry’
‘It’s ok. I suppose it was a bit rude to ask’
‘No it weren’t! You said summat about filing on the phone. Be no good me doing it if I didn’t know me alphabet, would it? Might as well stick it all in a cardboard box!’
Ingrid laughs ‘Ok… So shall we see how well you do?’
‘Like some sort of exam?’ Charlene bites her lip.
‘Sort of. See that filing cabinet behind you?’
Charlene nods nervously, panic showing on her face.
‘Don’t look so worried! I only want to find out the sorts of jobs I could give you’
‘Ok-ay’ She eyes the cabinet with dread. ‘What’ve I got to do?’
‘I know the top one is in a mess. The last girl used to just throw folders in there. Would you try and sort those for me? There are hanging racks for each letter…some are doubled up, but there’s a tag on the tops, so you’ll know which they are. I want you to put the folders in alphabetical order in the right hanging file, ok? Folders are the brown ones and the hanging files are green. I’ll put the kettle on and we’ll have a cuppa while we have a little chat afterwards, shall we?’
‘How about I make a drink and you do the cabinet?’ Charlene grins then shrugs as Ingrid laughs and shakes her head. ‘Oh well, it were worth a try weren’t it. Shall I sit here?’ she asks, swivelling the chair from under the second desk. ‘They’re not going to moan when they come back are they?’
‘Who?’
‘The person what sits here. They at lunch or something?’
‘That’s your desk for now…if everything’s works out ok’
‘Mine? You mean I’d get me own desk? Wow!’ She runs her fingers over its top ‘And my own stapler?’
Ingrid nods as Charlene lifts it up.
‘My pot of pens?….My…thingy?’ she asks, holding up a paper punch’…….My phone?’
‘All of it!’ Ingrid tries not to giggle.
‘Ohhh. Best I do this right then int I?’ Charlene grins excitedly and pulls open the cabinet drawer. ‘No sugar in mine…I’m on a diet’
Ingrid laughs to herself as she disappears into the tiny kitchen area, screened from the main office by a painted plywood wall.
‘How’s it going?’ Ingrid asks a short while later, bringing two mugs and putting them on her desk. Smiling, she watches Charlene’s mouth working and her frown of concentration as her fingers walk along the tops of the hanging files.
‘Think I done it …hope it’s right cos I’ve never had me own desk…I’ve never been anywhere what they even HAD desks!’
‘You’ve finished already?’
‘There weren’t that many……perhaps I missed some’ she adds, her worried frown returning. ‘I were just double-checking as they was right’ She wheels her chair backwards so that Ingrid can get to the cabinet. ‘You’d better check them int you?’
Ingrid opens each hanging file and flicks through the folders. ‘Great stuff, well done!’
‘I done alright?’
‘You did. They’re fine. All done…and so quick!’
Charlene blushes with pleasure, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. ‘Anything else I can have a go at?’
‘Okay..’ Ingrid hesitates and looks round, initially dismissing but eventually beckoning her to the chart on the wall and handing her a sheaf of cards. ‘This is what we call the Check Board’ she explains carefully. ‘It’s where we make a note of where the men are every day. That’s in case we need to get hold of them but more importantly, we can see where they are, what job they’re doing and how long they will be there for…that’s the little date in the corner of each square, that’s their last day on that site, on that job. You follow?’
Charlene nods, her eyes flitting from one square to the next, her lips moving as she reads. ‘Yeah…I think so…Er..Kevin is at Monkleys until..’ she counts on her fingers ‘next Wednesday…Um…Billy finishes his job today…so he’ll want another one won’t he? That what these are?’ She fans the cards in her hands.
Ingrid sighs and looks heavenwards.
‘Did I get it wrong?’ Charlene’s face falls and she scans the chart again, her brow furrowed ‘Sorry…Can you tell me again? …I might get it next time’
‘No, Charlene, I was thanking God for someone with some gumption’
‘I got a gumption? …Oh..’
‘You busy today?’ Ingrid asks hopefully.
For a few seconds Charlene doesn’t react, focussing all her attention on the chart. She turns, gaping as Ingrid’s words sink in. ‘You mean…I got it? …. I got the JOB?’ She whoops as Ingrid nods. ‘Ohhhhh! Can I ring me Mum? She’s gonna be ever so pleased. She won’t care if I can’t go shopping with her’. With shaking hands, Charlene takes her mobile phone from the bag slung over her shoulder and grins as she holds it to her ear. ‘Mum?…I got the job! I got me own desk and everything!’ Tucking the phone under her chin she gives Ingrid a puzzled frown. ‘So what’s this gumption thing I got, so’s I can tell me Mum’
Samms Plant Hire, Oatfield
Chapter Six
Rose Cottage, Albans Lane
