‘That’s that then’ Kester finds Helen in the kitchen, his suit discarded in favour of a polo shirt and jeans ‘Glad it’s over’ he says, puffing his cheeks in a sigh of relief.

‘Me too’ Helen smiles gently and puts a mug of coffee into his hands ‘I’m glad you went’

‘Yeah’ he sips ‘you were right’ he sets the mug down and puts his arms around her ‘You’re always right’

‘Wouldn’t go quite that far’ she says modestly and lays her head against his chest. They stand for a few moments with his cheek resting on her hair.

‘Not sure I could’ve done it without you, though’ His voice sounds muffled and a little unsteady.

‘It’s okay to cry’ she hugs him briefly.

‘I don’t want to cry, not for her!’

‘Then cry for yourself...and how things might have been...’

‘If she hadn’t been the person she was?’

‘If you like, sounds a good enough reason’

‘No’ he mumbles his decision ‘I won’t.  But hold me a bit tighter...just for a while’

‘Bone crusher?’  Helen looks up in enquiry.

‘Bone crusher’ Kester nods and returns her smile with a wobbly one of his own. ‘I quite like bone crushers’

‘Me too’

They rock in a close embrace, separating only to look at each other before kissing.

‘Thank you’

‘For?’

‘Everything!’ Kester grins and throws his hands in the air ‘All of it...me and you...just you...all this sorting out you do.....sorting me...sorting my head....all the....’

‘Okay...that’s enough’ Helen shakes her head, laughing. ‘As long as you’re okay’

‘I’m fine’ Kester retrieves his coffee.

‘Harriet settled?’ Helen enquires, bending to stroke Alfie as he weaves in and out of her legs ‘Alright, I know you’re half starved, I’m getting there’

‘There is no way he is hungry, Jeannie has been in three times today!’

Helen tears open a sachet of cat food and squeezes it into Alfie’s dish ‘There, you pig!’ she pushes him to one side with her arm to be able to set it down. ‘You rang Jeannie?’ she rinses her hands at the tap.

‘I did, let her know we were home and everything. Harriet’s fine, absolutely bushed but she’s okay’

‘I am so glad we spent last night in a hotel, it would definitely have been too much to do it all in one day. Too much for us let alone Harriet’

‘Mmm...wise move’ Kester agrees ‘And it meant we had every excuse to get away reasonably early’

‘True’ Helen nods as she dries her hands on a sheet of kitchen paper. ‘Did you want anything else to eat?’ she offers.

‘Not for me, I’m still full. Quite a spread...about the only good thing that could be said about it’

‘Caterers’

‘Gathered that’ Kester grimaces.

‘Is your father staying on at the London house?’

‘Not sure what’s happening there. Depends on Imogen I suppose but he’ll want to get back to Lynn as soon as poss I should think’

‘Poor Lynn’ Helen sympathises ‘But it was the right decision. I don’t think your father could see that but in her particular case, it was right that she shouldn’t go’

‘The other woman at the funeral of the hard done by wife?’ Kester says cynically.

‘That’s how the press would see it’

Kester puffs his cheeks ‘I know you’re right...yet again’ he adds with a small smile ‘But Dad wanted her there...needed her there’

‘Kester, there would have been hell to pay, and you know it, resentment being the least of it’ her eyes widen in an attempt to convey meaning without mentioning names ‘She would have been made to feel awkward and totally out of place. She did right. Your father will see that eventually too’

‘Let’s not get into any big discussions, not tonight’ he drains his mug and puts it into the dishwasher, turning to take Helen’s to do the same ‘I’ve had enough for today. Forget everything and give me another bone crusher. Yes?’ he smiles hopefully.

‘Is this a euphemism?’ Helen grins.

‘Could be’ his eyes crinkle at the corners ‘it wasn’t meant to be’ he says, putting his arms around her and looking down into her upturned face ‘but it could be’

Tawny House, The Annexe

Chapter Thirty

The Old Smithy, Standersfield

'....and I wish you’d told me Simon was going to be there’ Jeremy mutters, his eyes downcast and a flush spreading across the tops of his cheeks.

‘Would you have gone if I had?’ Martin hands him a beer and swigs from his own as he sits on the second of the wrought iron garden chairs on the patio. ‘Anyway, you should have known without me telling you. He was always fluttering round Ruth like some Buddha on speed’

‘It was awful!’ Jeremy ignores his comment and picks disconsolately at the condensation dampened label.

‘The whole bloody thing was ‘awful’. You seeing Simon again was just one of those things. You had to see him some time...or were you going to go on avoiding him?’

‘I have not been avoiding him!’ Jeremy’s mouth puckers truculently.

‘Not much you haven’t’

‘It’s just that I would rather not have met him then’

‘You’d rather have done it on your own?’ Martin enquires mildly ‘without me around?’

‘I never said that’

‘But that’s what you were thinking. I’m sorry if I cramped your style!’

‘I didn’t say that either’ Jeremy looks up, his eyes swimming ‘He wants me back’

‘Ohhh, I bet he does!’ Martin stretches out his legs and crosses them at the ankle ‘Your choice, Jeremy!’ He gulps more beer.

‘Mine?’

‘If you’re stupid enough to want to be at that queen’s beck and call again, you go ahead’ he stares out resolutely onto the garden, a tic throbbing at his jaw ‘I can’t stop you’ He raises the bottle to his lips.

‘I didn’t say I wanted to go’ Jeremy whispers ‘In fact’  he leans back and mirrors Martin’s stance, the heel of his shoe rapping against the flagstones as if to emphasise his words.  ‘I told him to go fuck himself!’

Martin chokes and sits forward, first wiping the beer from his nose with the back of his hand and then brushing it from the knees of his trousers ‘You did WHAT?’

‘I think you heard what I said’ Jeremy peels the last of the label from the bottle and takes a leisurely drink.

‘Maybe I did but I didn’t quite believe it! Run that by me again’

‘I am happy where I am why would I want to go back to him?’ he shudders ‘Gives me the creeps. I’m glad I’m out of it’

‘But they were your actual words?’

‘So?’ Jeremy shrugs in rare defiance ‘I’m over being pushed around and he needed telling, so I did!’ he stares blankly at the bottle, rolling it between his fingers  ‘And as for having to put up with him smelling of whatever his latest little fling smelled of’ he says with quiet disgust ‘No...I couldn’t go through that again'

‘And me?’

‘What do you mean?’ Jeremy turns his head to look at him.

‘Where do I fit in all this?’

‘You mean am I happy here?’

Martin nods in response. 

‘I just said I was, and I am’

‘With me or was I just some handy port in a storm and you’ve got used to where you are?’

For a few moments Jeremy holds his gaze ‘YOU are where I am...not all....this’ he breaks eye contact to circle his hand at the view and the house ‘I’m not here for what I can get out of you either’ he says defensively ‘I’m here ...still here...because of you, nothing else’

‘You’re not going to get all maudlin on me, are you?’ Martin lowers his brows.

‘No’ Jeremy sniffs and turns to surreptitiously wipe the corner of his eye ‘Sorry...had a bit too much to drink already, I think’

‘So what you just said was all a load of bollocks?’

‘No....I meant every word’

‘Good’ Martin says, standing up. He drops a kiss on Jeremy’s head.

‘Good?’ Jeremy twists in his chair to watch Martin disappear into the kitchen and return with another bottle ‘Why good?’

‘Because....’ he sits and stretches out his legs again ‘it means we’ve BOTH made the right choice’ he raises the bottle in a toast. ‘And...’ he pauses to take a sip ‘we could....if you wanted......make things legal....’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Our....partnership....We could get it done legally...if you wanted’

‘You mean like....getting married?’  Jeremy’s mouth quivers.

‘If you wanted’ Martin’s shrug is off-handed.

‘And this.......this is a proposal?’

‘If you want to call it that’ he shrugs again ‘Have a think while I’m away and we’ll talk about it when I get back. Okay?’

‘I suppose it’ll have to be’ Jeremy sets his unfinished bottle on the ground beside him and stands up ‘I’m tired. Think I’ll go to bed’ he says, making his way indoors ‘don’t be too long, you’ve got an early start in the morning’

‘Jeremy?’ Martin looks on, bewildered. ‘What’s up?’

‘Goodnight, Martin’