‘Wondered where you’d got to’ Martin watches as Jeremy gently brushes the horse’s withers, his arm around one side of its neck while he lays his head against the other.
The horse whinnies in recognition and pulls against the head tether. Jeremy soothes him with a few whispered words and carries on brushing as he turns. ‘Calms him down a bit, grooming. Not sure what’s up, bit edgy. Hope he’s not coming down with something’
‘More likely to be the sound of the rain’ Martin looks up at the roof ‘Don’t I get a hello?’
‘Sorry...yes...of course you do’ Jeremy frees the tether and picks up the grooming bucket, backing out of the door between the stall and the aisle and closing the bottom half. ‘Sorry, I’m all mucky but hello you’ he leans forward from the waist to accept a kiss.
‘You smell a bit ripe’ Martin wrinkles his nose.
‘That’s what comes of turning up early. I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow’. He pats the horse’s neck as it nuzzles his hair and offers up a mint on the palm of his hand. ‘And that’s your lot, you greedy beast’ He walks to the next stall and feeds another to the horse there, stopping long enough to rub his muzzle at pat his cheek before turning.
‘I thought I’d surprise you’
‘You have. There’s nothing for dinner and I need a bath before I start sorting you out’ Jeremy walks past him and out of the block ‘I was going to make do with soup’
‘Soup’s fine’ Martin follows across the courtyard and through the rain at a trot ‘I don’t suppose there’s any of your bread?’
‘No there isn’t. I don’t bother for myself. There’s the end of a loaf from the bakers in the village. That will have to do’ Once they reach the porch, Jeremy shakes the drips from his hair and prises off his wellington boots. ‘You think you could make your own coffee while I go and get clean?’
‘Sure’
‘I won’t be long’
‘Jeremy, hang on’ Martin puts out a hand and grasps Jeremy’s arm ‘something up?’
‘Not at all’ Jeremy gives a short sharp sigh ‘There’s no heating apart from the fire in the sitting room that I haven’t lit yet. The boiler’s packed up and the guy can’t get out until tomorrow, unless this rain turns to snow again in which case God knows when he’ll be able to get here. The whole house hasn’t seen a duster in a week, there’s nothing in for dinner, I stink to high heaven and you turn up! Of course nothing’s wrong’
‘You do a nice line in sarcasm. I’ve never noticed that about you before’
‘Yes, well, there’s cause, don’t you think?’
‘I think I expected a bit more of a welcome after three months. Happy New Year, Martin’ Martin says with a heavy dose of sarcasm himself.
‘I’m just not READY!’
‘You have to be ready?’
Jeremy nods and looks at him forlornly ‘I wanted to be. I wanted everything just so for when you got home. I didn’t want you thinking I’d let everything go just because you were away. I have been busy, honestly I have but I’d organised things almost to the hour. Now it looks as though you’ve caught me out...which you have, I suppose. I really do need a bath’ he sniffs ‘I can smell myself’
‘I might open the door again for a while after you’ve gone up’ Martin grins. ‘I know you’ve been busy but haven’t you missed me some?’
‘Of course I have but do you really want a hug now?’
‘I’ll pass on that but at least look pleased to see me. I’ve missed you like hell. I wish you’d flown out, I really do. I think it was one of the most miserable Christmases I’ve ever had’
‘With all those parties and invitations?’ Jeremy looks disbelieving ‘It wouldn’t have been any good anyway, there were all sorts of delays here because of the weather. I’d have done well to get out of the village let alone the airport. It was touch and go whether I got to Angela's for Christmas Day’
‘Your horsey friend. How did that go?’
‘Wonderful but I told you that on the phone’
‘I know you did but a bit of me was hoping you were being all brave and you were just as depressed as I was about the whole shebang’
‘I had a lovely time. I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy yours but...well, never mind. I’m really pleased to see you. Look, I’ll just have a shower for now and be down soonest, okay?’
‘Alright’ Martin rubs his hand over his face and stifles a yawn ‘And I’ll get some coffee going’
The Old Smithy, Standersfield
Chapter Thirty-four
The Vicarage, Oatfield
‘I know what I’m doing. I don’t need any help from you, thanks very much!’
Reverend Philpott sighs and leans back in his chair ‘I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said anything at all’. One of the dogs lays its head in his lap and whines. ‘It’s okay, boy’ he says quietly and pats its head.
‘No you shouldn’t!’ Stephanie says crossly ‘It was more than wrong. I know how Nathan feels, we’ve talked about it often enough. I’m happy just the way I am, okay?’
The dog yaps at the raised voice and her father grabs at its muzzle, shaking it playfully as he talks. ‘But for how long?’ he says, looking up as he settles the dog at his feet ‘That’s what worries me. I’ve seen so many girls strung along then left high and dry. I don’t want it happening to you’
‘It won’t. What’s the matter, he not good enough for you?’
‘Of course he is. And anyway, it’s not a case of what’s good enough for me; it’s what’s good enough for you and if you’re content to wait around until he’s ‘ready’, who am I to argue?’
‘You say that as though he’s using it at some sort of excuse’ Stephanie pushes another of the dogs away ‘He’s not, okay?’
‘You know that for certain, do you?’
‘Yes I do! And I’ll tell you something else I know as well....Oh, get down can’t you!’
‘Here!’ Reverend Philpott calls him away and points to the hearthrug. The dog slinks back to its spot and huffs as it flops down with its head on its paws, eyeing them both. ‘Don’t take it out on them. You know how anxious they get if they think we’re annoyed with each other. We can talk about this without you yelling’
‘Sorry...but what if you’d put your foot in it?’ she says at a more reasonable level. ‘Nathan took it alright, thought it was funny when you said he might just as well be because I was bossing him about, but what if he hadn’t?’
‘Honestly?’ he reaches for his pipe and starts to fill it ‘Then I would have had grave doubts that he planned to marry you at all. Nobody goes off the deep end at the mere mention of marriage unless they feel cornered. I have to give him his due, he didn’t but we didn’t have long enough before you came in to talk properly about it all. I feel completely in the dark and I want what’s best for you ’
‘He is what’s best for me and I know when he does ask me...and he will, Dad, it will be a forever thing. Until he’s sure, he won’t ask and, I don’t know about you, but that’s what I’d rather wait for. We could have got married months ago, the way we feel about each other but getting married is more than that, isn’t it? It’s got to last a bit longer than the honeymoon, for heaven’s sake. We’ve both got to be ready, know each other inside out for it to really work’
‘And if he decides you’re not for him after all?’ he looks up from his task ‘You could be with him years and then he backs off. What then?’
‘It really won’t happen, Dad, trust me’
‘And what if you should fall pregnant while he’s making up his mind?’
‘It’s both of us making up our minds, not just him’ Stephanie growls impatiently ‘....and you worry too much. It’s not likely but if it did happen, I’d cope...with him or without him, I’d cope...And if I was too much of an embarrassment to you, I’d move away’
‘You’d never be an embarrassment to me, sweetheart’ Reverend Philpott lays down the pipe to reach out and cup her face with his hand ‘Never’
‘That’s alright then, isn’t it?’
‘You want I should say sorry to him or something?’ he pinches her chin between his forefinger and thumb.
‘No, it’s fine. Just don’t push us, we’ve got it all sussed, honestly’
‘Understood’ he nods and goes back to tamping his tobacco.
The Old Smithy, Standersfield
‘There, that’s better’ a freshly showered Jeremy walks into the kitchen and shivers after coming through the hallway. ‘Thank God for immersion heaters, that’s all I can say’ he leans his backside against the front rail of the Aga and spreads his hands against the warmth of the enamel. ‘And I don’t want any comments about having these ovens on being a waste. It was the only way I could take the chill off this room. Give me the old fashioned sort you could run radiators off’ he grumbles.
Martin slowly rises from his chair ‘And I still don’t get a hug?’ he asks ‘What’s happened to us? It’s like this big gulf. I feel a stranger in my own home. Shouldn’t I be here?’
‘Not until tomorrow, no’ Jeremy looks away then down at the floor.
‘But I haven’t seen you for weeks. Some homecoming this has turned out to be’ he puts his hands either side of Jeremy’s shoulders ‘We are alright, aren’t we? It’s not that you don’t want me here at all?’
‘It’s your house. If I didn’t want to be with you it would be up to me to leave, not for you to stay away’
‘That didn’t say anything at all. I know you, you wouldn’t have left the horses to chance with the lad, even if you knew he’d be in, not without you here to oversee things’ Martin closes his eyes and takes a long breath ‘Ah...am I missing something here... you and him, maybe?’
Jeremy looks up with amused astonishment ‘Me and him? Martin! He makes Casanova look like a bloody monk. If you’d heard some of the tales I’ve heard, you’d know how ridiculous that suggestion is!’
‘Then what, Jeremy? Even now you haven’t put your arms round me. I need you to do that. It’s what I’ve been looking forward to ever since I left. I really have missed you’
‘And I’ve missed you too’ Jeremy sighs as his arms circle Martin’s waist and lays his head against his chest.
‘I sense a but’ Martin hugs him closer, pressing his lips against his hair ‘I know things weren’t quite right between us when I went. I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I let you down, didn’t I? I didn’t say any of the things I should have’
‘It’s okay’ Jeremy lifts his face and tightens his hug for a second ‘It was just me being silly and I’m sorry for it now. You’re not the only one who’s been doing a lot of thinking’
‘As marriage proposals went, it was crap’ Martin dips his head to offer a tentative kiss, giving a low moan of pleasure and relief when Jeremy responds readily. ‘I love you’ he murmurs, holding Jeremy’s face between his hands as the kiss ends. ‘I’ve loved you for years and I want us to be together always. I want the world to know we belong together’
‘We don’t need to be married for that to happen’ Jeremy whispers, lifting his hands to cover Martin’s ‘I’m happy exactly as we are. We don’t need the fanfares or our story being splashed over endless magazines, we’ve got each other and that’s all that really counts’ he lets their hands fall and stands gripping Martin’s fingers. He gives them a little shake. ‘Isn’t it?’
‘You don’t want to marry me?’ Martin looks hurt and confused ‘Is that what this has all been about? Is that why I didn’t get the welcome I was expecting? I knew I’d upset you but I didn’t realise I’d upset you this much’
‘It’s not that at all. I was upset, I admit it but I’ve had so much time to think since and discovered it’s not what I really want. Not that I don’t intend to be here until I keel over’ he reassures with a quick smile and another shake of his fingers ‘because I do but I’m going to stick with you through thick and thin but because I want to not because some piece of paper says I should’
‘Then why the cold shoulder? I thought I’d come to the wrong house for a minute’
‘Because I’d got it all PLANNED!’ Jeremy rolls his eyes and groans ‘Then you come home early and mess it all up’
‘Sorry’ Martin sticks out his bottom lip ‘You mean telling me ever so nicely just what I could do with my proposal?’
‘No, you fool’ the eyes roll again and he laughs ‘Yes I was going to tell you all that and if you didn’t bring the subject up then I was going to...but over dinner!’ he cranes his neck to look into the mug on the table ‘Ah...you took it black’
Martin looks behind him, his brow creasing ‘I needed a bit of a kick start. So?’
‘Then you didn’t see the bloody great turkey sitting in the fridge! You were going to come home to the smell of polish and that cooking. There were going to be candles on the table and everything was going to be perfect. Our own belated but very special Christmas’
‘Aaw, Jez. So it was disappointment more than anything?’
‘I had a little cry upstairs’
‘I’m sorry. I could always go away again and come back tomorrow’ Martin offers with an apologetic grimace.
‘Don’t you dare! Not now. It doesn’t matter. We can still talk about it but over soup instead’ Jeremy sighs ‘I wanted it to be so special...not just because you were home but because I thought we could...’ he stops and smiles impishly ‘I think I’ll make you wait and see’
‘Tell me’ Martin growls, grabbing him around the waist ‘tell me now or you’ll regret it’
‘It won’t be the same’ he squeals as Martin lifts him off his feet. ‘The stove isn’t hot, just nice and warm. If you’re threatening me with that, it’s a lost cause, I’d quite like it. I’m frozen’
‘You’re not really going to make me wait, are you?’
‘Don’t spoil that as well’ Jeremy pleads ‘It’s got to be right’
‘What has?’
‘There’s got to be candlelight, a nice meal, a glass of wine and with neither of us having dew drops on the ends of our noses because we’re so cold and don’t tell me you’re not cold, you haven’t taken your coat off yet’
‘Right!’ Martin puts him down and breaks away to drag the table closer to the Aga. He opens the oven doors and hurries to get a bottle of wine from the refrigerator. ‘Oooh....Champagne no less’
‘That was for tomorrow!’ Jeremy protests weakly ‘What are you doing now?’ he asks as Martin completes the circuit, taking glasses from the dresser and putting both them and the champagne on the table before opening the back door and reaching into the porch.
‘No idea where you keep the damned candles but this will do’ he plonks the hurricane lamp in the centre of the table and lifts the glass to light the wick before striding masterfully to the light switch and turning it off. ‘There you go! What more could you want?’ he says, returning to the table and rubbing his hands together ‘Ah, food!’ he grins in the flickering light ‘Make do with an apple?’ he tosses one from the fruit bowl and sets another in front of him as he sits down ‘So, what was it?’
Jeremy snorts with happy laughter and puts the apple to one side ‘This really isn’t the way I imagined it at all...and...and you’ll have to excuse me for a sec ’ he squeezes Martin’s shoulder as he passes ‘Won’t be long’
Martin twists in his chair, watching Jeremy hurry out of the door and smiling at the sound of his feet hammering up the stairs and coming down again with the briefest of pauses in between.
‘Right’ he says, closing the door behind him and coming to sit opposite.
‘You chose a good moment for a loo break’
‘I haven’t been to the loo’ Jeremy puffs and tries to catch his breath ‘Okay...so this is candlelight and the table is set with all the best china and silverware, we’ve just had the best tasting turkey ever and you are feeling very mellow’ he gasps for another breath. ‘We both are’ his eyes glitter with nervous anticipation. ‘This is where I would start to tell you about me not wanting to get married if you hadn’t already said anything’
‘Okay’ Martin says with a slow smile ‘So you don’t want to get married. I get stroppy and throw my brandy over you’
‘You can’t, it’s still on the sideboard and I haven’t gone to get the coffee yet’ he dimples a smile as their eyes meet ‘I would have been very careful not to upset you by making sure you knew how much I loved you and the only way I was ever going to leave was feet first’
‘Don’t talk like that’
‘Sorry’ he flicks a hand. ‘Something about loving you forever...and then....’ Jeremy swallows uncertainly.
‘And then?’ Martin prompts, stretching across the table to take his hand.
‘I...I was going to suggest we pledge ourselves to each other’ he gains confidence when Martin does not pull away or laugh ‘To promise to love, honour and cherish but just between us, here in this house where you’ve made me so happy’ he says softly ‘To pledge that we’ll be together always in mind and spirit, to share something too personal to share with anyone else, to affirm everything you would in a civil ceremony but here....just us two together...in love...and I do love you, Martin’ he holds his hand to his cheek ‘You are more than I ever dared hope for and I never want to let you go’
‘You said that so much better than I did’ Martin croaks ‘I’d pledge all that and more in a heartbeat. I know it’s a cliché but you make me complete, I’m lost without you, I really am. Yes, Jeremy, the answer’s yes. If this isn’t enough for you, we’ll do it all again tomorrow...but yes....very definitely yes’
‘Should I save this for tomorrow or what?’ Jeremy extracts a small box from his trouser pocket, sniffing and smiling away tears as he opens and holds it out ‘I hoped you might wear it... like a wedding ring’ he falters when Martin starts to smile ‘If you don’t want to, I’d understand’
Martin reaches into the inside pocket of his open coat ‘Great minds think alike’ he murmurs, taking out a box of his own ‘I was going to do it properly this time. Tell you how I really felt. Get down on one knee if that’s what it took. Anything but the balls up I made of things last time. There’s nothing offhand about the way I feel but it came over that way and I’m sorry’
‘It’s beautiful’ Jeremy says, opening the box with a trembling hand and looking up with a watery smile.
Martin pushes back his chair and picks the ring from its velvet casing as he stands up and moves around the table. ‘Let tomorrow take care of itself, I want to do this now’ Taking Jeremy’s hand, he slips the ring onto his finger ‘I pledge my life and my love to you always’ he bends to kiss first his lips and then the ends of his fingers. ‘Always’ he whispers.
Jeremy takes the other ring and holds Martin’s hand, glancing down only briefly as he pushes it into place ‘I pledge my life and love to you always’ he sobs.
‘You big girl’s blouse’ Martin folds him into his arms.
‘Yes but I’m your big girl’s blouse now’
