‘You an’ the missus are off t’Canada then so I hear’ George Harris grunts as he straightens from putting more coal on the fire. He replaces the tongs on top of the coalscuttle.
‘I ain’t going nowhere wi’er!’ Ernie Knowles refutes hotly, looking up from idly scanning the newspaper spread on George’s dining table.
‘Not according to what Jessie were saying. She didn’t need no loud hailer down the W.I ‘parently. She were going on about needing new clobber an’ all sorts. Sit yerself down then. I’ll get coffee going.’
Ernie follows him through to the kitchen. ‘She ain’t going to Canada, she never were… and nor is I now. Can’t get a flight not for love nor money. Chock a block they are, all of ‘em’ he grumbles
‘What you gonna do then?’ George asks, lighting the gas under the kettle.
‘Dunno bout her but I shall sort meself something out. Go down The Horse probably. Expect Vivienne can squeeze me in somewhere’
‘Or just squeeze yer!’ George cackles.
‘Cor, don’t need no mistletoe for that ‘un!’ Ernie grins ‘So, how’s you doing then? You got a bit o’colour so I’m guessing you ain’t in so much pain. That clinic or wherever that lad’s been taking you to, did some good, did it?’
‘Cor, lummy oh! That were a treat an’ half I can tell yer. What, a nice young lady pulling me this way and that? No wonder the boy likes going. I reckon as I should find me a few more aches and pains and let er have a go at them!’
‘You got to go again?’
‘Couple more times, she reckons. Drop of rum in it?’ George offers, waving a half bottle over the mugs.
‘Oooh, go on then’ Ernie nods ‘It’s brass monkeys out there. Go easy though, I’m in the car.’
‘Just a spoonful’ His hand shakes as he pours.
‘Bloody hell, boy! I hopes I don’t get breathalysed’ Ernie laughs and takes both mugs and carries them into the living room ‘Up t’table or down be the fire?’
‘As yer like. So, you got to sort that missus of your'n out again then. Don’t envy yer that!’
Ernie puts the mugs on the table and sits down. ‘George, I don’t care none. For two pins I’d take meself off and not come back. I should a done it years ago’
‘Too right, boy, too right yer should’ George lowers himself carefully onto the chair.
‘I’ve made some mistakes in me time but that was the biggest of the lot’
‘Too late now though int it?’
‘In some ways but it ain’t in others’ Ernie mumbles cryptically. ‘I’m off for a couple of days any road. She can stew in her own juice for a bit. Got a do on’
‘Int she after going with yer?’
‘Not this un, she ain’t’ Ernie looks meaningfully over the rim of his mug.
‘Oh, right you are….I get yer. Back there?’
‘Back there’ Ernie takes another sip of his coffee and wheezes at the taste of the rum. ‘Blimey! I shall be as pissed as a fart be the time I come to go home!’