‘Lord A’mighty woman! Whatever yer gone an’ done now?’ Charlie stands just inside the back door, stupefied, one hand still on the door handle, the other holding a large cabbage.
‘I…I…..thought I’d ave a bit of a change’ Edna faces him tearfully ‘Looks orrible don’t it?’
‘Aaw, Edna’ Charlie drops the cabbage on the draining board and wipes his hands down the sides of his trousers ‘It were a bit on a shock but it ain’t too bad…not really’
‘I can’t go out looking like this’ she howls, almost falling into Charlie’s open arms. ‘I should be laughing stock a the village’
‘Ere’ Charlie croons, enjoying the now rare display of affection ‘Nobody makes fun a my missus. Let’s ave a proper look’ He eases her away from him and casts a critical eye over the carroty powder puff that was Edna’s hair.
‘You needn’t try an’ be kind. I know what it’s gone wrong and there ain’t nothing you can say what’d make me feel better’ she says, her mouth trembling ‘I been at it all mornin, what wi’taking the old colour off an’ putting a new ‘un on…I wish I ain’t a bothered, I do, onest. It were s’posed t’be a nice brown colour…bit softer’n what a gen’rally ‘as’
‘Couldn’t yer ave ad it done at the shop?’ Charlie asks with careful tenderness.
‘You know ow much that’d cost?’ Edna wipes her eyes ‘S’all I can do ter afford t’get it cut at that place’
‘That be buggered fer a tale!’ Charlie chucks her chin and strides purposefully into the hall. ‘This the number ere?’ he peers at the small pad sitting next to the telephone ‘Ah…’air…tha’s the one, I s’pect’
‘What yer doin now?’
‘Makin yer ‘n ‘pointment’ Charlie replies nonchalantly as he lifts the receiver to his ear, leaning forward to better see the number on the pad while he presses the buttons. ‘I ain’t avin yer upset be no flippin ‘airdo! We’s gonna get it put right an’ I don’t care ‘ow much it danged well costs!’
Edna bursts into tears again and scurries back to the kitchen, hiding her face in her apron as she listens to him.
‘Two a clock t’morrer’ he says when he comes back.
‘Yer told them what I’d done?’
‘You ‘eard what I says an’ they says what they ud see what c’n sort out’
‘Yer dint ave t’tell em I were bawlin me eyes out’
‘I dint want em thinkin it weren’t a ‘mergency’ Charlie parries ‘They could a said a week next Tuesday a summat an’ I ain’t ‘aving yer bawlin fer that long’ he pauses for a moment ‘It’d get on me nerves’
Edna looks up crossly to see him smiling at her. ‘Oh, Charlie’
‘Now you come’n sit down a bit’ he leads her to a chair ‘While I get me ‘ands clean an’ I’ll make us a nice cuppa tea’
‘You will?’
‘Aye. And yer needn’t look so s’prised. I does know where the kettle is. Then, Missus bloomin Smith, yer can tell me what all this ‘ere frettin’s for’ Charlie goes to the sink and lathers washing up liquid onto his hands.
‘Wouldn’t you fret iffin yer ‘air were like this?’
‘That ain’t what I’m on about’ he rinses his hands, sending soapy water spraying over the sink unit and the floor. ‘Yer got yerself in a right puckertary ‘bout summat fer days. Wha’s up wi’yer?’
‘Oh, Charlie’
‘Yer can stop wi’that ‘n all’ he chides, grabbing the tea towel and mopping up the worst of the mess before turning to her ‘I wants t’know’ he says, rubbing his hands briskly on the towel and dropping it on the floor to soak up the water there.
Edna opens her mouth to protest but decides against it.
‘It’s that there goin on telly bus’ness int it?’ Charlie continues in a more solicitous tone ‘Yer don’t ‘ave t’do it if yer don’t want. No begger’s makin yer! It were just an idea tha’s all. Don’t matter none t’no begger’ He touches her cheek with a damp hand as he passes en route to the pantry. ‘It were just like a bit a background, tha’s all’ he says, bringing a new packet of tea to fill the empty canister sitting lidless on the side next to the kettle. ‘They likes t’get a little bit a summat diff’rent in, bit on a story a what ‘appened afore’
‘I want t’do it, a course I want t’do it!’ Edna turns to watch him and wiping her eyes ‘I loves that programme’
‘An’ the fella what’s on it’ Charlie winks ‘So what’s up wi’yer?’
‘I can’t go on telly looking as I do, can I?’ she whimpers with a sniff.
‘Cor blimey, gal!’
‘I can’t though, can I?’
‘Why n’earth not?’ Charlie looks genuinely taken aback ‘Yer look pretty damn fine from where I’s standin. I should be proud t’own yer’
‘Really?’ her bottom lip quivers.
‘A course really, yer daft a’pporth…’ Charlie leaves the making of the tea to give her a reassuring cuddle ‘Ceptin fer yer ‘air at the minute but yer’s still as beaut’ful as the day I married yer’
‘And twice the bloomin size’ Edna says ruefully.
‘Looky ‘ere’ Charlie takes half a step back and wags a finger as he looks down at her ‘I dunt care iffin this Owen fella likes his wimmin wi’bones stickin out, it’s me what yer gonna be sharing yer bed with’ he huffs ‘an’ I likes summat wi’a bit more meat t’cuddle up ter. It ain’t like yer gonna sleep wi’the begger…’ He narrows his eyes and draws a long breath ‘Or were that what you was thinking?’ he folds his arms and looks at her sternly. ‘You reck’nin on goin off wi’yer fancy man?' he teases 'Yer gonna leave me fer ‘im, that it?’
‘Oh, Charlie’ Edna’s eyes fill ‘I’m more’n old enough t’be ‘is mother. I just want t’look nice, tha’s all’
‘Yer do look nice, I that proud on yer sometimes, I can’t ‘ardly stop looking at yer, yer daft bat.’
‘You got such a way wi’words, Charlie Smith’ she sighs in mock despair.
Charlie chortles, seeing the ghost of a smile on her lips. ‘Charm the birds out a the trees, yer used t’say’ He puts his hand under her chin, his thumb brushing against her lower lip.
‘An’ you used t’say a a lot a stuff what yer don’t say now’
‘Don’t mean t’say I ain’t thinkin ‘em’ he bends creakily to kiss her ‘Yer me best gal, allus was an’ allus will be’ he whispers.
‘Oh Charlie’
25 Piper Street
Chapter Twenty-eight
‘Mum!’ Marcus’s chuckle sounds loud ‘you’ve knocked the camera skew whiff. I’ve got the ceiling!’
‘Sorry, sorry’
‘Where’s granny gone?’ Luke eyes show large on the monitor as he peers into the web cam.
‘Granny’s here’ Paula sniffs.
‘Your mother is a bit…what you would call… emotional’ Nick’s laugh booms around the small room and the image shakes and tilts while he realigns the camera clipped to the top of the screen. ‘Better?’
‘Much’
‘You okay, Mrs. Wright?’ Marie grins.
‘I’m fine’ Paula sobs into a tissue.
‘Looks it’ Marcus snorts, hugging Marie closer, his other arm already holding a pyjama clad Luke on his lap. ‘Take it that’s okay?’
Paula howls.
‘I think you can take that as a yes’ Nick ruffles Paula’s hair.
‘Granny crying’
‘I know, sweetheart, shush’ Marie kisses her words to his ear and looks to Marcus to continue.
‘Amy’s mum and dad would love to visit again and there’s so many people up for coming over, we thought why not? It’s where Marie was Christened…and I’ve been a few times’ he adds ‘Not sure how it’s going to work…’ he glances at Marie ‘we were sort of hoping you’d go and see the vicar, see if he’d still do it, what with us being over here now. Marie’s mum and dad’ll be in touch as well. It’s going to be a bit of a hassle sorting everything from here…but that’s what we want’
‘Oh, Marcus! That’s the best news I’ve heard in ages’
‘So, in effect’ Nick takes over ‘between me, your mother and Marie’s parents, we organise a wedding and you two join in at the end?’ he says with a wry chuckle.
‘Ohhhh’ Marcus and Marie laugh as they share a look of surprise and touch foreheads ‘sounds a plan….not that we expected you to….’
‘Don’t you move from that computer!’ Paula instructs ‘I need something to write on’ she moves out of camera shot.
‘Mum…mum’ Marcus calls her back ‘First things first. We’ve got to check out if it can be done yet. We’ll get to the arrangements and what’s what later on. Can you get an email address or something? There’s nothing listed for the church itself. That’s probably easiest. We can talk to him direct then, once you’ve sounded him out’
‘Will do!’ Paula says excitedly ‘Ohhhhh’
‘Mum, calm down’
‘I am, I am’
‘Night, night, Granny’ Luke slowly raises and lowers a podgy hand and snuggles against Marcus’s chest, a thumb finding its way to his mouth as his eyes droop.
Marcus dips his head and looks up with a soft smile. ‘Think that’s our cue to say goodbye’
‘You’ll call again tomorrow?’
‘Will do. Love you’
‘Love you too’ Paula bursts into fresh tears as Nick says goodbye and ends the call.
3 Manor Road
